November 20, 2005

The Insidious Takeover - Part Two

But of course, that wasnt the end of that. Prednisone has a fairly long half life, relatively speaking, and soon the effects of it had worn off. The really bad part was that at the same time I was receiving what was life-saving cortisone, I was receiving it at therapeutic doses for an illness, not at a replacement dosage that would be used in Addisons. So I was over medicated and that only made the underlying Addisons worse.

I went through cycles of this over and over again. I developed what they believed to be adult-onset asthma and was back on prednisone. Then cycles of bronchitis. Fatigue and more fatigue - crushing fatigue. I had irregular heartbeats, skin problems, my skin was darkening (although that wasnt noticeable to the physician because I was so incredibly fair-skinned and I looked normal) and to make matters worse, and to throw the diagnosis off even more, I developed severe hypertension and a slight weight problem. Now that is not typical for an Addisons patient. Addisonians are thin - very thin usually and tend to be hypotensive, not hypertensive.

So it was all in my head. It was anxiety, it was depression, it was hypochondria, it was OCD.... It was always something other than something real. And that took me to the point of believing that myself. I soon believed I was as nuts as they thought I was. I took more medications for depression and anxiety than someone who legitimately has those conditions takes. I would have gladly accepted the diagnosis if I had believed it but I didnt. My body only felt well on cortisone and it was as simple as that.

A few more years rolled by. I dont know how I did it, but I continued working, I continued living my life, but I became more isolated. I was so tired, too weak and too disinterested to do much more than was absolutely required of me. But I had a huge social event coming up that I could not possibly excuse myself from, so I had to rest up for a month before and do the best I could. It required travel; a few days of meeting, greeting, dancing, eating... all of the things people love to do. All of the things I used to love to do. When I returned to New York I suddenly broke out in huge lesions all over my legs. The bronchitis was unbelievable. I was so sick. I had the flu, I thought, like no flu I had ever experienced. But the doctor said it wasnt the flu. At least he was honest enough to tell me he had no idea what was wrong with me but suggested I see a rheumatologist. At least we had a plan. I just wish he hadnt laughed me off - it felt very belittling and I often wonder if he would have said that to a man.

So off to the rheumatologist I went. I saw a woman who specialized in rheumatology and I was convinced I would find the answers I needed. I had an exam, no blood work because of previous blood work at my physicians office, and was pronounced nuts. Well not really, nuts. But she might as well have said that. She did say, Everyone feels good on prednisone. Its like a high. I tried so hard to explain it wasnt a high feeling and that it made me feel normal but she didnt listen or didnt want to hear it. I left with no more information than I had before I went.

Interestingly enough a few months after that, I had a terrible pain in my foot. This was clearly not related to anything I had had happen in the past few years. It was a sharp pain on the top of my foot and I thought I had broken a bone. It refused to get better, which is the hallmark symptom of a break, so I finally called the doctor. He was gone for the week, thank goodness, but a new doctor in the clinic was willing to see me. I had wondered what he was like and being that I was convinced it was a break, I decided to see him. At least I needed a brace or something, and definitely something for the pain.

He diagnosed me with gout. Gout???? What the heck and where the heck did that come from? Incidentally, I never had it before, and Ive never had it since. It was as if this gout diagnosis dropped in to signal this doctor. And of course, guess what the treatment for gout is? You got it. Prednisone. So I explained, for what I silently vowed would be the very last time about the prednisone, how I felt, the CFS diagnosis, the mental diagnoses, and dumped the whole story on the doctor. He was interested. And I was interested in his interest.

He told me that we needed to resolve the gout and he promised to get to the bottom of the problem. So his research began, I began the prednisone, which made me feel 100% better again, and we began our final journey to diagnosis.

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Posted by: George H at February 27, 2006 04:40 AM

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