Main » July 2004

July 22, 2004

Still seeking intellegent life on earth.

Today was my Dr.'s appointment. My blood pressure was high again and my period is 2 months late. I am bruised from head to toe. I can't seem to get out of this brain fog that I am in. I have literally slept the last 3 to 4 days away. My face is real puffy and my eyes are swollen up so I can barely see. I have big dark circles under them and they are bloodshot for no good reason. The nausea is getting old too. These are just to name a few things. Depression. He concluded that I am depressed. And wants me to try a different antidepressent. I am so sick of getting jerked around. I am not depressed. I already take Zyprexa for psychotic episodes. (Even though I'm not bipolar or mental in any way.) It makes me sleep real good and have no side effects. I don't over think things anymore thank god, I can be so anal about things. I told him I want my life back and I want it yesterday. At any rate he added another blood pressure medication to the growing list of pharmaceuticals I now posess in my little treasure chest of GOODIES. Cant forget the antidepressant too. He gave me a sample of Lexapro and forgot to give me the BP meds. He didn't even give me a prescription. Talk about forgetful. Well I didn't question it because he handed me 2 different sample (or so I thought) .
Well, I'm wiped out. The fatigue has got me wiped out. I'm off to bed . After today I think I am going to be out for days to come. Goodnite. 

Posted by Angie Noah at 12:49 AM

July 21, 2004

God something has got

God something has got to change. I have spent the last 3 days sleeping. I wake up at around 10 or 11 to take my pills and shower as always. I have been waking up real stiff and swollen. I have gone right back to bed because I don't have the energy, the drive  the motivation to do anything but sleep. The heat has been my worst enemy at this point in time. I sent my youngest daughter to stay wiith her dad because I just can't function. I am in a brain fog that doesn't allow me to think at all.

Tomorrow I go to the doctor. I'm not expecting anything to change on this visit. I think he will try another antidepressant and maybe put me on another blood pressure pill. My endocrine doctor retired a year ago this past May so I have been passed around (3 Dr.'s)  this other practice because there is no other specialist in town taking new patients. I was told there was not another one in Eugene at all. I asked for a referral to Oregon Health and Science University and was told that he would refer me to a Dr. Curillo here in town. The appointment took 3 months to get so I have one more month left before I can be seen. I'm just hoping that he can help me because my quality of life sucks. I have no life. I want to be happy again. I want to be in love again. I am so sick of my life being centered around my Addisons and hypothyroidism (Schmits syndrome) I could scream. I'm off to bed. Hopefully I will be able to get out of bed so I can go to the Dr. It's a 46 mile round trip for me and the heat is going to kill me. It's supposed to be in the high 80s low 90s. Wish me luck.

On the up side Friday I got a call from KZEL the radio station in Eugene telling me that I won the Grand prize. It was a $100.00 gift certificate to Harry Ritchies (Jewelry Store). I was in such a fog when they told me it was hard for me to be enthusiastic about it. At any rate tomorrow is a new day and hopefully I will feel better.

Posted by Angie Noah at 12:35 AM

July 15, 2004

who ever said that once

Who ever said that once Addisons is diagnosed and treated you can live a long normal life must have been on crack. NORMAL??? Today was one of the most difficult days I have had in years. After being dumped by my husband during the worst time of my illness (I was sick for 8 years before diagnosis), I had given up on finding anyone that wouldn't mind all my baggage (Addisons). Just as I had given up I found love on line. So for the last 8 months we have spent every weekend together and then some. Things were fine untill 6 weeks ago when I started to feel worse. My brain fog started getting worse. My comprehension and memory were getting worse too. I was still sleeping 16 hours a day and barely able to function. I was having trouble with word retrieval. The bruising was starting to get bad again as were the panic attacks in traffic. I haven't had a period in 2 months. (That's not normal for me, tubes tied not pregnant).

My health was taking a turn for the worse and my Dr. wouldn't listen to me. I was put on a ADD medication that did not work. I was then put on an antidepressant that put me in a FOWL mood and did not seem to help any of my symptoms. My lab work came back in " NORMAL" range so I am sent on my merry way with no answers. I feel that my low T 3 #'s need to be higher. My Dr. disagrees. At any rate 6 weeks ago I broke it off with this guy because my kids don't like his kids and he was kinda pissy with me one night when I had to cancel my plans with him because I was starting to get pneumonia. So for the next 6 weeks my symptoms kept getting worse and so did my thought process.

The one thing with Addisons I have learned is to get rid of all stress in your life. If you have unresolved issues in your life resolve them. For us Addisonians stress will literally kill you. The issues I had with our relationship was addressed by him no problem. It was me that was having the problem. When I get sick like this I shut down. I was dealing with my kids being home 24 hours a day now (15 & 13), my poor health and a relationship. I couldnt do all 3 so something had to go and it was'nt going to be my kids. Today I had to tell lhim face to face that I didn't have the energy it takes to make a relationship work. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do because I do love him. I am just so fatigued all the time that I ca'nt handle it.

I had a dentist appointment to go to after I told him it was over. My blood pressure was so high when I got there they put me on the short call list. When my blood pressue is up I loose it mentally. I can't think straight. I forgot how to get home. I almost passed out on the freeway. My right arm started to tingle. It was a horrible feeling. At any rate I am going to go for a walk to cool off. The heat is my worst (and Addisonians worst ) enemy. One of these days I hope to juggle all three, my health, my family and a loving relationship. When that day comes I will truly be happy. Untill then I am dying inside.

Posted by Angie Noah at 08:46 PM