Let's start with Wed. the 4th. I needed to take down my Halloween decorations down from the outside of my apartment today. I painted a huge spider web on my front door so I was going to have to hose it down with the hose and some soap. It was pretty cold out and then add the cold water and you have on fatigued Addisonian. I was outside for 20 minutes before I had to go in and lie down. I was instantly zapped. This was at 5 pm. I didn't wake up until the phone rang at 8 pm. I should have taken an extra dose of hydrocortisone to compensate but I couldn't even think to do this. I was OUT.

I then dragged myself to the van, and drove to Eugene !/2 hour away from my house. Once I get there I load up the van so we can just wake up and go in the morning. I then made shirts with the #14 on them for support when at the game. Ron's dad is comming with us as well as his daughter. Ron's dad stresses me so this 5 hour drive should prove interesting. Mind you that I am still bleeding and clotting heavily and it looks as if there is no end in sight. This will be month 3. I have been on the birth control pills for 1 month now and they don't seem to have an effect on the bleeding. I had some blood work done on the 2nd and it came back stating that I was severely anemic. Folic acid and iron pills were prescribed. Now I really do have more pills than Carter.

At any rate I have a few hours to rest before Ron's sister and mom get in. They get in around 2 am and we don't get to sleep untill 5 or 6 just to be up by 8 to shower and cook breakfast. We had to be in Arcada by 11:30. Game time 1 pm. The game was 4 hours and very disappointing. I was so fatigued but held on. We (20 family members) then went out for dinner putting us home around 9 pm. I was so tired, wouldn't you know it the first time I take the iron and it upsets my stomach so I can't sleep. I have never had indigestion soooooooooo bad before. I finally get to sleep around 2 am.

I have to be up at 8 (I normally get up around 12 pm) to cook breakfast so we can go to the beach and do some beachcombing before we head back to Oregon. I love beachcombing so this was supposed to be fun for me. We found this one beach that was down a very large bank. There was a long and step staircase that led you down to the beach. I made it down 1/2 way before I started having balance problems and my blood pressure was shooting sky high. I was sweating so much my poor head was dripping with sweat. It was running off my nose and getting in my eyes. I managed to make it to the bottom and walked the shore line looking for beach money (sand dollars). I was starting to have problems breathing and my coordination was real shaky. This beach didn't have much in the way of shells so we decided to head back up to the van. I managed to get about 1/3 of the way up the staircase before I had to stop because I was so weak I couldn't lift my legs. I was having trouble breathing and the fatigue was overwhelming. I started to cry because of the frustration that goes with not being able to do such a little thing like walking up a flight of stairs. Physical exertion should not be a problem but it is. I finally made it to the top with the help of my boyfriend. The fatigue had hit me hard by then. I was crying uncontrollably and could barely stand up. The first thing I did was head to my purse and take some hydrocortisone. I was mentally on my way out. I wasn't sure whether I was going to pass out first or go brain dead first.

At any rate we went back to the room, loaded up the van and headed home. I was out the entire trip. Then wouldn't you know it 1 hour from home I am hit with flooding that has soaked my pants and the seat. The closest rest area is 40 miles away and I can't stop the bleeding. God, I was really stressing now. What in the helll is causing the bleeding? No wonder I am so tired all the time. My body is busy replacing all the blood I have lost over the past 3 months.

We finally find a rest area and get home in one piece around 9 pm. I shower and go to bed. I was out for 3 days. I have another big weekend coming up and don't know if I'm even going to participate in it. I 'm no fun to be around when I get like this. I hate not being able to enjoy myself. I feel like I drag everybody else down. They kind of understand but not really. Well, I'm off to bed now that I have gotten rid of the heartburn. Take care and be happy. LOL

Since the last time I wrote a lot has happened. I have a lot going on. May, June, and July I did not have a period. Aug. 4th I started my period and it has lasted for 3 months. I have been flooding to the point I can't leave the house. In July I saw my GP and requested some androgen gel to increase my poor sex drive. He was uncomfortable with this so he prescribed menest (estrogen). At the same time he prescribed an antidepressant to address my constant sleepiness and my lack of focus and the brain fog as well as the poor motivation and lack of drive. (This is the 3rd antidepressant he has put me on. I don't feel that I am depressed and that's why they are not working. I guess alot of Addisonians have this kind of problem.) 6 weeks go by and the bleeding is bad, the antidepressant is doing nothing. What was causing the bleeding? I looked up when I started the menest and found it was 1 week prior to me starting my period in Aug. The side effects cautioned breakthorough bleeding.

So I stopped taking this as well as the antidepressant. For one it was not doing any good and for another I was going to see a new Endocrinologist Aug. 19th and would be addressing the same issues with him and wanted to give any drugs he RXed a chance. It was also at this time I made an appointment with my GYN to discuss my periods and get a pap smear. Her office made an appointment to have an ultrasound done as well as check my hormone levels. She agreed with me about the Menest causing the bleeding. She told me it was good that I stopped taking it and it may take several months to straighten my periods out. At the same time the new endo addressed the brain fog and lack of motivation and focus an well as the sleepiness by playing with my steroids. I take 40 mg of hydrocortisone for my Addison's a day. He put me on 7 1/2 mg prednisone once a day. This is equivalant to 30 mg hydrocortisone. After 3 weeks I phoned his office and told them that I was not handling my stress very well and my face was breaking out. For 8 years my face was one big raw sore that hurt and never healed up. It wasn't untill I was put on 40 mg hydro that it cleared up and had been for the past 3 years. The change in steroid dosage was to blame.) And I thought that my steroids needed to be increased.

The nurse took the message and said she would get back to me. 2 weeks go by and I have not heard a thing, so I call again and tell them the same thing again and am told the same thing. A week goes by and my face is really bad and I can't deal with any stress I'm a mess. So I call the office and insist that he either increases my prednisone or I wanted to go back to 40 mg hydrocortisone. I was told the doctor was out for the weekend. It has been 3 weeks since my initial steroid change and I was not given a follow-up appointment. None of my calls had been returned. As it turns out instead of putting me on an equivalent dosage of prednisone he put me on 10 mg less than what I was use to. The nurse told me that she had given the doctor my messages and that he would get back to me . I was so upset I told them to put a note in my chart that I was going to go back to 40 mg hydrocortisone (I could not and would not ever have my face in this condition again. It seems that cortisols role is not only to deal with stress it is also responsible for healing. Since I had no cortisol for 8 years my immune system was not allowing my face to heal. Once The 40 mg hydrocortisone was started it allowed my face to heal up and it has not broken out in over 3 years or not untill they played with my steroids. ) So I was pretty put out with my endo's office. I called my Gp and had them give me a RX for hydrocortisone.

2 weeks go by and my endo's office calls and tells me that the doctor wants me to cut my prednisone down to 5 mg. ????????? What about the note in my chart stating I was going back to the Hydrocortisone? Nice documentation on their part. I explained why we made the change in steroids to begin with and was told that I should try Providgil. I told her that my GP had mentioned it before but we hadn't gone that route because it is an amphedamine and I didn't want to do that. She told me she would get back to me. A week and a half go by and she calls and wants to know if I want to try the Providgil or not. I told her yes, so she wants to know what pharmacy to call it in to. So I tell her. I go to pick it up and it's not there. A prior authorization has to be done if OHP (Oregon Health Plan) will cover it. They may not. And I guess it is quite expensive.

Then to add to the mix I am dependant on VIOXX to keep my RA in check and now it has been pulled off the market. OHP didn't cover it ($100 mo), but I was given about a years worth last Christmas (leaving me 3 months worth left) by a drug rep. Celebrex is the next best thing but OHP will not cover it so I am screwed. I can't afford the Celebrex so I'm going to finish taking my VIOXX and then I guess I will just have to cross the pain bridge when I get to it. I don't ever want ot have to deal with the pain and depression that went with having RA.

So that's where I am at this moment. My face is better, I'm handling my stess better and my periods have been OK this past week. (That's due to the birth control pills my GYN put me on 2 weeks ago). So that's whats been going on with me.

Tomorrow I go to the doctor. I'm not expecting anything to change on this visit. I think he will try another antidepressant and maybe put me on another blood pressure pill. My endocrine doctor retired a year ago this past May so I have been passed around (3 Dr.'s)  this other practice because there is no other specialist in town taking new patients. I was told there was not another one in Eugene at all. I asked for a referral to Oregon Health and Science University and was told that he would refer me to a Dr. Curillo here in town. The appointment took 3 months to get so I have one more month left before I can be seen. I'm just hoping that he can help me because my quality of life sucks. I have no life. I want to be happy again. I want to be in love again. I am so sick of my life being centered around my Addisons and hypothyroidism (Schmits syndrome) I could scream. I'm off to bed. Hopefully I will be able to get out of bed so I can go to the Dr. It's a 46 mile round trip for me and the heat is going to kill me. It's supposed to be in the high 80s low 90s. Wish me luck.

On the up side Friday I got a call from KZEL the radio station in Eugene telling me that I won the Grand prize. It was a $100.00 gift certificate to Harry Ritchies (Jewelry Store). I was in such a fog when they told me it was hard for me to be enthusiastic about it. At any rate tomorrow is a new day and hopefully I will feel better.

My health was taking a turn for the worse and my Dr. wouldn't listen to me. I was put on a ADD medication that did not work. I was then put on an antidepressant that put me in a FOWL mood and did not seem to help any of my symptoms. My lab work came back in " NORMAL" range so I am sent on my merry way with no answers. I feel that my low T 3 #'s need to be higher. My Dr. disagrees. At any rate 6 weeks ago I broke it off with this guy because my kids don't like his kids and he was kinda pissy with me one night when I had to cancel my plans with him because I was starting to get pneumonia. So for the next 6 weeks my symptoms kept getting worse and so did my thought process.

The one thing with Addisons I have learned is to get rid of all stress in your life. If you have unresolved issues in your life resolve them. For us Addisonians stress will literally kill you. The issues I had with our relationship was addressed by him no problem. It was me that was having the problem. When I get sick like this I shut down. I was dealing with my kids being home 24 hours a day now (15 & 13), my poor health and a relationship. I couldnt do all 3 so something had to go and it was'nt going to be my kids. Today I had to tell lhim face to face that I didn't have the energy it takes to make a relationship work. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do because I do love him. I am just so fatigued all the time that I ca'nt handle it.

I had a dentist appointment to go to after I told him it was over. My blood pressure was so high when I got there they put me on the short call list. When my blood pressue is up I loose it mentally. I can't think straight. I forgot how to get home. I almost passed out on the freeway. My right arm started to tingle. It was a horrible feeling. At any rate I am going to go for a walk to cool off. The heat is my worst (and Addisonians worst ) enemy. One of these days I hope to juggle all three, my health, my family and a loving relationship. When that day comes I will truly be happy. Untill then I am dying inside.