May 25, 2005
scared of sleep
The past week or so I have been having a hard time sleeping, or more like, falling to sleep. Strange for me, but I have been dealing with these strange "twitches" or "jolts" that occur sometimes just any time of day, if I am trying to do my relaxing excercises. They get really bad when I am trying to get to sleep. Very similar to the "normal" ones that sometimes hit when falling asleep, the ones that wake you up a bit with a jolt... these are way more intense. The jolt is more like a shock, large one, running through my limbs. It might be my arm or leg, or sometimes both legs, both arms, an arm and a leg, etc. They hit as soon as I close my eyes. I have been trying to keep track if it was perhaps just a dream.. maybe I am imagining it. But no, they are real and often leave an actual "after tingle". Sometimes there are terrifying feelings of panic. Heart racing, sweats. Feeling completely out of sorts. Last night I was on the couch dealing with these, too scared to go to bed. One of them had me flailing both arms and legs when it was ending. I can still remember the panic. Brody looked over and saw my arms twitching and flailing and saw me "wake up" told me I was trippin'. That's exactly what it felt like. Tripped out on something not "normal".
Same deal tonight. I finally went to bed at 1:30 after "trippin" on the couch for a couple of hours. I was back out on the couch by 3:30 after doing the same thing in bed. It's kind of freaking me out.
Posted by hellonwhls on May 25, 2005 03:26 AM
Oh my can I relate to being scared of sleep. I wasn't sleeping well and I knew when I went to sleep that I would be up and down all night sick and anxious and struggling with as yet undiagnosed 'alpha-delta sleep disorder' (as soon as you start to have a delta sleep wave, an alpha wave interrupts.)..makes for wild and extended dreaming, all the waking.
My husband also had/has a fear of going to sleep because he woke at age 37 one morning and his arm was up in the air and he checked his blood sugar and it was ok (Type I since age 3), and then he started to fall and grabbed a standing lamp and didn't go down. He'd had a stroke, and he stayed conscious, in fact he walked down the stairs. Since this trauma occurred upon waking, getting him to sleep has been a bear. And because of his diabetic issues and other meds, the sleep choices have been lacking... he's finally on OMG sometihng I can't remember what and is falling asleep earlier than ever.
I take 1200 neurontin, 350 soma, 20 mg flexeril, & 3mg of klonopin to try to sleep. I sometimes still take a half or whole Ambien which I was on 300 mg for the longest time.
So honey we understand.
Hugs, judy
Posted by: judy at June 2, 2005 02:26 AM