August 30, 2004
Overdoing to make room for 'our' son flares Fibromyalgia
Wow, was I in a 'funk' ! Since getting let down Saturday and being so down, and that intensified because of being out of antidepressants for a few days, I have survived.
Soooooo depressed over not seeing my daughter with her brothers who were visiting from NY, I went into a crying jag and got all worked up and sick. Ended up in bed for a couple of days. Slept most of the weekend off & on, Monday too.
Finally back on Paxil and cried out and put my missing out on Jen with them in perspective versus the sorrow my daughter had to feel when she had to say goodbye to her brothers until who knows when after only a few hours with them.
I have spent time with my mom today and again will tomorrow. She filed for divorce last week and negotiations have started, as (I hate to call him this) my father had entered into a contract to purchase a house for personal and business use and was using community funds to pay for it.......not on my watch! So Mom saw the atty, yada, yada, today was full of phone calls and faxes. Whew!
Tomorrow is set to be scrapbooking and watching the Julia Stiles movie, The Prince & me. I got it today when we went to Costco, but then I was overcome with pain and fatigue about a half hour in and had to come home to med and bed. (the light dose: a flexeril 10mg & a Vicodin ??mg) and a nap. Worked like a charm. Yeah. So off for fun tomorrow with Mom. My dh is hitting an AZ casino with his mom tomorrow, so it works out for us to be out and about separately.
tired and neck and shoulder pain from typing.......so off to bed with me........
So glad I survived the weekend and like the 'who's in whoville' yell 'I am here, I AM here,
I AM HERE!' and still kickin'!!
Hugs and blessings,
Posted by on August 30, 2004 03:01 AM
Hey Judy,Good to see that you have something else to keep you busy. Try not to overdo it though. You could end up in a lot of trouble. You sound well and your psots definately sound like you are excited!!! Any way all the best and I hope that things work out really well for youKylie in Australia
Posted by: Possum at August 30, 2004 06:23 AM
I look forward to those future posts! I have no children of my own but am a very proud aunt of four, three girls an a boy. I just love them to bits. I pray that all of your excitement was worth it and that your new boy becomes another inspiration to you!!All the best and lots of hugs Kylie
Posted by: Possum at September 11, 2004 04:42 AM
Thanks Possum, I'm updating today. Life is good, tiring and exciting, but very good. We are blessed. Thanks for your note and well wishes!Hugs and Blessings, Judy
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TITLE: Not alone anymore........& It's a Boy!!!
AUTHOR: Judy in AZ
DATE: 8/28/2004 06:05:09 PM
Posted by: Judy in AZ at September 11, 2004 06:47 AM
Judy, I have missed so many milestones, I know hwo you feel. Some of them have been because I have just chosen to pass,and rest or just was in too much pain, but a few have been just as you described. Don't be too hard on yourself, remember, the irritability, depression, and anxiety/hightened emotional responces are all part of FM. It's because we just don't have the normal stress responces physicaly, and that handicaps us in dealing emotionaly with stress. It is just sooooo easy to find that magic straw and need to hide for a while, as much for the protection of those we love as for ourselves, lol. I would just plan, with Frank, on sharing the first time he contacts him. That will be the true milestone, as far as the far more important relationship. Gentle Hugz, Michael
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TITLE: Put out the flare........whew!
AUTHOR: Judy in AZ
DATE: 8/19/2004 12:21:38 AM
Posted by: Michael A. at September 13, 2004 09:16 PM
Thanks for your notes Michael. Both very much appreciated. We are now in a 'honeymoon period' , I keep hearing from friends and family. I expect an adjustment period to last awhile.All smiles and cooperation and joy right now.I was divorced when my daughter was 2 and I co-parented with her father thru age 11, with her having weekly visits with him & 2nd family...then as he moved out of state, and she had cross country visitation xmas & summer... he tragically died of a stroke at age 37, 10/13/2000 during Jen's freshman yr of hs.At the time he was going to move, I got Jen & I into counseling and was lucky to have a national expert in parenting 'through' divorce in town. Her book and individual and family counseling helped Jen and I to cope and me to learn how to better parent with her father... and when I was dx'd in 97, after awhile, I started seeing her for general counseling.Anyway, lucky for me I have a parenting expert in my back pocket so to speak and my sessions can go to health or parenting, most likely a mixture, issues.Thanks for sharing your brother's story. I'm glad it worked out in the end. We too are hoping for a happy ending...or beginning as it is for now....Hugs & Blessings, Judy
Posted by: Judy in AZ at September 13, 2004 10:37 PM
DATE: 8/31/2004 02:20:25 AM
Thanks for the kind message Possum. Yes we are excited, he arrives midnite-ish tonite.We did get the rest of the closet moved and the furniture out of his room and a desk into his room from our den/computer room. Washed his new sheets which smelled plasticy and now they're yummy fresh and we put the bed up on it's stand again (my daughter had it on the floor when she took back her headboard etc several months ago. It looks great in there. All clean and fresh with a couple of inspiring photos/quotes and some temporary art which we got for Frank's Chrystal to cozy up the room.Yup today was hard, with me overdoing, then resting, and several times feeling my back complaining. We got it done, It's amazing what we can do when motivated by love. wish me luck (& prayers if you like) with co-parenting a teen boy ( I just had my Jen).I'm sure life with Garrett will make it into future posts too. Hugs, Judy
Posted by: Judy in AZ at December 31, 2004 01:06 AM
DATE: 9/13/2004 09:29:47 PM
Yeah!!!!! That's great news!!! Be ready for some real hard adjustment time, though, and leave in place some detachment, at least till the relationship finds it's center. My Brother found out 16 years after his first divorce that he had a 15 y/o daughter. The relationship was great untill she asked to move in with him, as her mother was having financial trouble and only had the child support, as it was too high for her to get welfare. Somehow, the way the rules worked, the ex got more money, at least enough to barely survive, if she didn't have their daughter. My neice moved in, and then there was kind of a dance. first, the begining steps, where she just agrees with whatever Ric said, because she was not yet at home here, and didn't want to rock the boat. Then, as She felt more at home, and the relationship with Ric deepened, the freedoms that she had with her mother, that she no longer had, began to be missed, and that caused some resentment and acting out. Things were rocky then for several months, before they worked out that he was not just a friend who was also her father on paper, but a real father who loved her and planed on contributing to her developement from a young woman into an adult, including the learning of respecting rules and developing a sence of responciblity. In the end, she grew, Ric and she have a father-daughter relationship that is something to be envied, and all are happy. I hope all goes as well for your family, Judy. Gentle Hugz.. Michael
Posted by: Michael A. at December 31, 2004 01:06 AM
DATE: 10/6/2004 03:43:19 PM
Hi Judy Congradulations on your new baby boy even at 18 they can be babies lol . I wrote you a long Email , I'm so happy that you've had support over the years . I did too but in the end it was me and my kids ... Just reading your diary has given me strength to write more in mine so thank you my friend . Brite Blessings Ravensong
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TITLE: Space and Pace.....
AUTHOR: Judy in AZ
DATE: 8/23/2004 05:01:01 AM
Posted by: Ravensong at December 31, 2004 01:06 AM