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September 21, 2004

Hope for Newly Diagnosed with FMS

I've survived the 'Crash after the Miracle'.........support from family and Faith got me through.

I want to post a message of hope for those newly dx'd. It does get better. The first year(s) are the worst. Yes, there will losses of people, activities, parts of your life. Grieve them, you deserve it. After 2 years of being sooooo sick I was homebound, I truly was better from treatment and I had Hope. As bad as the pain and fatigue are now, terrible always, it's not as bad as the confusion + pain + fatigue + bizarre symptoms arriving daily. While I can't work anymore, I have found that I can LIVE. My job is to love my family, and I do it well, even from bed some days. I find more Joy in life and more Laughter in my days and more Hope than before. It's living in the moment which I am forced to do by this disease. And living in the moment brings peace & joy & hope & love, unlike any I experienced pre-FMS (except for the birth of my Jen of course).

Hang on to your Faith, Hang on to Hope, Let those who love you help you & spend time with loved ones, the source of the most Joy, no matter the pain level. A smile and some laughter does a body good.

Blessings, Judy

PS Garrett is in school and adjusting. We're still so thrilled. Frank is enjoying lots of time with his son and is so happy. Jen is better and back into her busy life. Mom is doing better re divorce now that Dad's packed out his stuff. And.....ick, I feel a cold'y' thing coming on, maybe the bug from Jen. I'll do my best not to give in to it!

Posted by at 03:05 AM | Comments (3)

September 14, 2004

The Crash after the Miracle.......

Wow,
On 8/24 we got in touch with my husband's son, Garrett, from his first marriage through a background search on his mother. My dh did't know he was a father to the boy until he was about 10, when the mom filed a paternity suit on several men. Frank was the dad, and Garrett like Frank has type 1 diabetes...Garrett since 5, and Frank since 3. Told he'd have contact with his son if he was the father....this never happened and through official and unofficial channels, I have helped Frank to search for Garrett during our 6 years together, to no avail until 8/24.

The number I got for the mom was right. I posted before that Garrett was found and coming to AZ by plane the next week. What a whirlwind it's been since then. Because his mom threw away his birth certificate he has not ever gotten a gov't issued ID, at 18, no ID or drivers license. So, He could NOT FLY. They require govt issued ID for 18 and older. So we went through a whirlwind the last weekend of August and ended up getting him a bus ticket from WA that he could pick up at the counter for a 36ish hour ride. We wired $ to a location near him so he could buy food etc for the trip (diabetic...and unstable in his previous home life).

So all of a sudden Garrett arrived in the wee hours of the am of 9/1. It was such a moving site to see him hug his dad for the first time. (Garrett is the spittin' image of Frank as a young man.) And the moving hasn't stopped. He's met Frank's mom, who is elated; Frank's brother Gary, 36 & also diabetic, and his son's Joshua 9 and Justin 4, who btw think Garrett hung the moon!!!; brother Michael 30 and his fiance', but not their 9 yr old and 5 year old yet....they have the crazy schedule in the family! And my Mom and my sister and key....MY JEN.... Jen called and came Garrett's 3rd night here and took him to the mall and they had dinner at the food court and she bought him a poster....Jen's actually 3 mos younger than Garrett, but she's WAYYYY mature and he's, well, not. Anyway, Jen accepted him warmly and I've never been more proud of her. (I find myself saying that about different things with her more and more...Thank God).

Garrett did arrive with the pants he had on, a few shirts, shoes he was wearing that were a size plus too small and a gameboy and a few cd's and a cd player. That is it! Plus he is near sighted and his dear drug addicted neglectful mother broke and threw out his glasses. It took us until 9/9 to actually get him enrolled in HS here for continuing his Sr year and hopefully, maybe depending on credit transfers, to graduate this spring. Frank's brother Michael & fiance' gave G a bag of clothes: jeans, several screened t's and a dressy casual/dress shirt. My mother did about the same. And Frank and I filled in the gaps at what sales we could find. Garrett was so malnurished as a child and anytime with his mother, he's 18 and wears a boy's size 18 jeans!! He's so thin and looks younger than his age. We also went ahead and had him have an optometrist exam and get glasses (2 pr for $99 at eyemasters, Thank God) so he'd have them for school, even though the health ins we've applied for would cover it when the policy is activated.

Garrett is a respectful, upbeat, charismatic young man. He is thrilled to be with his dad, whom his mom told him was dead years ago. He loves it here and really enjoyed school last week and is making friends. It's quite an adjustment as the HS here has 3000 students and his old one had less than half that. He's catching on and getting in the groove hopefully. We found out that some of his trimester credits for electives in WA may not transfer to AZ HS semesters and he may have 2 years of school left. OK with him and us, but would like to know now so we can balance his schedule. As it is, he has a full load of Sr courses required for graduation; if he's going another year we can take a couple of these and put them to next year and spread electives around.

Everyone is warning us that this is a 'honeymoon period' and that a period of not so pleasant adjustment is to come. Well, when it's time, bring it on. Frank and I are as ready as we can be. We love Garrett unconditionally and will do whatever it takes to facilitate his adjustment.
I even have a parenting expert for a personal counselor....so bring it on!

This truly has been a miracle story. Had we not gotten in touch and gotten Garrett down here before 9/1, he would have been homeless that day forward. He'd gone through all the time his friends could have him stay with them and was to be on the streets 9/1. God's timing is perfect.

Thank you all for your care & concern & support & prayers....and thank you for sharing in our joy, that "We have a BOY!!" See pic of his arrival below!

I'm so grateful for the company and support here.

Hugs and Blessings, Judy

Posted by at 06:02 AM | Comments (4)