February 15, 2005
Being a Pleaser feeds Fibromyalgia pain fatigue & depression
Hi y'all,
Taking care of me first, before my daughter, before my ex, before my husband now, has always been a challenge to me. i'm a pleaser and care-giver.
Lately I feel enough more depressed and exhausted that I just need to take some time for me and rest and hopefully walk on that treadmill of mine and take care of me.
I've been running ragged for weeks packed with doc appts and other stuff (getting the truck fixed after the accident and since the gal who hit has no ins I got to pay the $500 deductible plus extra rental fees and ins. (I didn't get the ins once and ripped the right side mirror OFF..not a pleasant thing to deal with!))
And Mom is back to 'sad' over her divorce of the creep after 42 years. I think it's due to them meeting w/ attys for the first time, recently, to try and reach a settlement. Dad was an ass. The attorneys are now negotiating. Mom is scared about her financial security and I understand. And she's lonely even though she's getting out and going to the retiree's luncheons monthly where she used to work, and monthly saturday luncheons of a bunch of dear old friends from Church groups when I was just a kid. And she does lunch occasionally with one friend or another. I spend at least 1 day a week with her just doing girl stuff, sometimes including my nap! And I talk to her every day and it's really hard sometimes when she's upset, when I can't go down and be with her. (then again, if she's crying I'll drop things here and go be with her, she's the best mom in the world!) I'm so proud of her putting her foot down when he kept stomping on her heart, and her getting out and about and not becoming a recluse.
On becoming a recluse, that's the way I feel right now, I would like to go to bed and hibernate with good sleep clear thru til whenever.
But, i love my family so much, they keep me from hibernating more than a day or so, and make sure I'm fed.
This journal is helpful for me, I believe it is therapeutic as well as a forum for sharing what life is like for me. So I'll keep this up, though I'm backing off of some other 'groups'. I just don't have it to give now. I hope people understand.
Hugs and Blessings, Judy
Posted by on February 15, 2005 6:03 AM
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Posted by: Cyclone vs does tornado at May 11, 2008 6:17 AM