March 2, 2005
High Anxiety, Again....Free Floating ANXIETY!
Hi all,
I haven't posted in awhile, 2 wks is awhile for me anyway.
This journal is something I do for me and I believe it helps.
So you can see I haven't taken much time for me lately....or I haven't felt up to it.
Yesterday I awoke with some anxiety, free floating - don't know why, anxiety making me feel tense, pain, fatigue, dizzy, short of breath. My usual meds didn't help. It wasn't crisis style anxiety, just a building anxiety which seemed to close in on me. I also felt nauseous, but no I wasn't sick at all. I skipped my chiro/holistic doc appt because I couldn't face getting dressed and leaving the house; actually couldn't face anything or anyone, so I went back to bed at 3pm. Later,I felt somewhat better, but still like it-the anxiety-was lurking to get me.
I know anxiety and depression are results of disabling illnesses. I do my best to beat them with meds and attitude and FAITH (not in that order), and usually do well. I don't know why yesterday was so hard.
And today, well today seems like it's off to a tense start too; I 'should' go to the bank, I 'should' check on any bills to be paid, I 'should' pick out a bday card for our sis-in-law's bday tomorrow. I think I'm going to go veg in front of the tv and eat something, and lie down later, in time for a decent rest before the dinner/evening time with family. Oh I 'have' to go to the pharmacy, D*MN! Well, that just has to be done before 9, so I can hopefully be up to showering and doing that before 9, or no sleep tonight.
My disability ins. co is making me do 2 more IME's (independent medical exams), 1) psychiatrist & 2) rhuematologist. Maybe this will be the 2nd opinion I wanted from a Rhuemy to confirm what 5 great docs have dx'd me with, FMS. 2 years ago the IME Rhuemy was an ins whore and spent <10min with me and wrote a 5 page report based on crap he read in charts, and said I didn't have FMS, so I've had to see a psychiatrist since then since that's what they say is wrong. Hello, Yes I am depressed and anxious, but it came AFTER the FMS stole my life and introduced pain and fatigue beyond my previous comprehension.
Wanted to put this in writing here, there I've said it out loud.
Hugs and Blessings, Judy in AZ
Posted by on March 2, 2005 12:15 PM