July 6, 2004
And Now a Thought About Needles
One of the things that you just have to get used to with RA is all the needles. Most people have a healthy fear of needles, which is reasonable. I mean, who wants to pierce themselves with a sharp, shiny object, in say, the thigh or the stomach?
For me, it was no big deal when someone else gave me a shot... like, say, the nurse or other trained health professional. I'm okay with taking blood, or any other routine thing. Even when my rheumatologist stuck a needle into my knee joint to pull out fluid. (Okay, that one was a little scary, but with my looking away and his engaging me in conversations about books -- I love books -- we got through it no problem.) What changed my relationship with ye olde syringe was a therapy for RA patients called Enbrel (http://www.enbrel.com/index.jsp).
For me, Enbrel has been a sort of wonder drug. After just a short time on the medication, I started to feel better. My husband noticed I was more upbeat and up to doing more things. My family and friends didn't think I was cranky from RA fatigue. Now, Enbrel will not work for all RA patients and work with different levels of success. But for me, Enbrel is the ticket.
With one minor exception. Twice weekly shots.
As I explained earlier, I wasn't so much afraid of shots until I was the one giving them. Plunging the needle into myself was a pretty freaky, wacky thing for me to imagine myself doing. The first time, my leg shook spasmically, as if it weren't attached to the rest of my body. Then, the hand that was to deliver the shot shook in a similar manner, until it seemed I would not be able to coordinate the effort of these two limbs to get this medication. And this was with the nurse right there. What the heck would I do when I had to do this at home, alone?
Here is the thing I have learned about shots. The better you feel, the easier it is to give yourself the injection. Also, it's never as bad as you think it is going to be.
After the first time, with the nurse's hand on top of mine, when the needle had actually punctured the skin (it only has to be subcutaneous, or just under the skin) and gone in, my words were (I kid you not) "That's it?"
I've been giving myself injections for over a year now. Although my husband still turns a little white at the prospect, since, unlike me, he still has a healthy fear of needles. At first, I rewarded myself with little things, like a piece of chocolate, for getting through another injection. But now, and I kind of hesitate to say it because it is a little weird to admit, but the shots seem rather ordinary, routine. Sure, I would give them up in a minute if there was an easier way.
But for the moment, as I work on keeping my RA under control, and if the Enbrel continues to work (knock on wood!) the needles and I continue to get along okay.
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