November 12, 2004

More About Advocacy, Best of Ohio Writing and Other Random Subjects

Every once in a while, a gal ought to be able to reveal the random thoughts in her mind, and where better than in the vast realm of the blogosphere...

About Advocacy

Wednesday night I attended another Arthritis Foundation Advocacy Committee meeting. Nick from the AF had us armed with folders from OHAN - Ohio Health Advocacy Network - and we devised a plan for meeting with out state legislators. All of this is like taking a begining Civics course for me (do they even teach Civics anymore?). It all begins with getting in front of elected officials so they know we are here and who we are. My fellow advocates are all people who have been doing this very thing for much longer than I have - I'm definitely the weak link in the chain - but I'm energized by being around them. And I found my way to contribute! But that will be for it's own entry in the blogosphere... so stay tuned.

Dr. Higgins, the pediatric rheumatologist who is a member of our committee, is always giving me information to ponder, and Wednesday night was no exception. She explained to me that there are only 150 pediatric rheumatologists in all of the United States. Only 150! Some states have no pediatric rheumatologists... kids with dieases like Juvenile RA end up seeing health professionals that may not have the best background to help them.

Best of Ohio Writing

I'm happy to report that Ohio Writer, the publication that puts out the "Best of Ohio Writing" awards has recognized a piece of mine, "Holiday Landscaping." I'll include it at the end of today's thoughts.

Other Random Thoughts

I noticed on the auto-immune section of Health Diaries that there is an alarming fact - 75 % of all auto-immune diseases occur in women.

Mallory, another writer here, gets much more interesting spam than I do. I always get spam for new mortgages and offers to buy medications from Canada. Also, Mallory, congrats on finding Vegan candy corn!

Check out www.arthritis.org about the Jingle Bell Run - you can run, walk or volunteer!

And, here it is:

Holiday Landscaping

I think my mother secretly wishes to be miniaturized.

She is busy decorating for Christmas. Decorating starts on her birthday in mid-November. She hauls up box after box from the basement, from shelves marked "X-MAS, DEPT. 56." The process doesn't take hours, it takes days to complete. She is a Christmas junkie, and I have to admit that after her hair grayed she did bear a remarkable resemblance to Mrs. Claus.

Today she has received a gargantuan box from Bronner’s, the World's Largest Christmas Store. Driving on the highway from Columbus, Ohio begins the every five to fifteen mille barrage of billboards for Bronner's, starting around the exit for Bowling Green and continuing over the state line. Then, driving into town you are greeted by a sign that says, "Welcome to Frankenmuth, Michigan's Little Bavaria," immediately followed by the bigger-than-a-football-stadium sized Bronner's Store. They've taken Christmas and Super-Sized it.

At the corner of the property where Bronner's is situated is a replica Silent Night Chapel with the first verse of the song in about a zillion languages, including Irish and Scottish Gaelic, Swahili and several Native American tongues. Past the chapel, there are signs for parking held by little mannequins of elves, complete with tireless smiles, peaked hats and unrealistically rosy cheeks. At night the area around the giant store is illuminated with ten-foot soldiers, choo-choo trains and evergreens all done up in tiny twinkle lights -- even during the summer months. All of this indicates that these are not the kind of Christmas people to be taken lightly.

Bronner's is part of the reason I think my mom wants to be miniaturized. During a family reunion in Frankenmuth, my mother-in-law (another Christmas junkie, first class) introduced my mom to Department 56, conveniently sold en masse at Bronner’s. Department 56 is an entire empire of miniatures based on Christmas. There are villages with lightly snow-covered castles, factories, houses and bungalows. There are itsy-bitsy people playing in the snow. There are elves training reindeer to fly. There are diners that serve Coca-Cola, as well as Starbucks and Caribou coffeehouses; tiny trees, snow covered fences, and all other effects of yuletide delight in diminutive proportions.

The miniatures are amazingly elaborate. Some are mechanized - gondolas that travel from the Christmas tree to the village, or reindeer that fly around snow-crusted lodges. With "amazingly elaborate" comes "amazingly pricey." To keep the purse strings continually loosed, Department 56 systematically introduces new items, while retiring others. Retired items require immediate purchase. They are now collectables. Mom eagerly filled her cart.

I reminded her that we must all fit into the car at the end of the Frankenmuth visit. Mom was undaunted. She went to a customer service counter and exclaimed, "Ship it!"

Now, back in her own version of Winter Wonderland, Mom places a Lilliputian-proportioned building on one of many shelves now dedicated to her Department 56 pride and joy. The building is a pint-sized factory - a Crayola factory. Its turrets are primary-colored crayons. It has a crayon fence and staircase. Around the Crayola factory Mom places little crayon go-carts driven by elves.

"Look," she says, "they're having so much fun."

I can see she wishes she had a miniature crayon go-cart. She places the Tinsel Factory next to the Crayola Factory, creating an industrial section for blue-collar elves. At the end of the elfin factory row, she places the Egg Nog Pub. The elves now have a place to go after a hard day's work. It's quite thoughtful of the needs of the elves, although she ought to know the effects of too much nog mixed with Crayola carts.

For Christmas my brother and his fiancee will visit; he will bring their Great Danes. The Danes, with their giant wagging tails, are the most perilous natural disaster to face the tiny yuletide landscape according to Mom. I can hear the elves screaming now, "Look out," and "Innnn-commming!" Mom counters the threat of dogs by making available shelving space higher than tail level- not an easy feat where massive canines are concerned. But she will go to these lengths to preserve her perfect holiday landscaping.

Slowly, Department 56 will creep over every free shelf space in the entire great room of my parent's home. My father, who I believe secretly has dreams of minimalism, will be surrounded by Mom's miniaturized holiday hideaway, hindering his ability even to set down his drink.

Christmas is a magical time of the year where clutter becomes all the rage. Perhaps it just wouldn't be Christmas without all this decorating, or as I would call it, crap. It amazes me how taste and preferences don't seem to make their way through the gene pool. I like vast, clean surfaces, usually with one decorative object and plenty of glass or stainless steel. I would be happy with a circa 1950 pink aluminum Christmas tree with bubble lights and nothing else. Mom wrinkles her nose at the thought. For her, holidays and miniatures go hand in hand.

Mom's creation becomes more elaborate after each passing twelvemonth. When she cannot go to Bronner's she calls them with requests and directions to "Ship it!" My father, giving up on all hopes of free space, buys her Bronner's gift certificates for every gift-giving occasion, which at each time received will be considered the BEST GIFT EVER. Implicit in this gift is the ability to purchase more loot for the village.

Gift certificate in hand, my mother scans the Internet, checking out dwarfish domiciles, considering carefully which she would most like to inhabit if she were only 5 inches tall.

Posted by renee | Filed under:

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