a Dream

Last night I had a dream that was soooo nice... I dreamed that my friend, the one I wrote about earlier who dumped me back in January, called me.
She started talking to me on the phone just like everything was okay again, picking up right where we left off. Since time gets sort of odd anyway, this kind of thing is normal in my life, that people can seem to change out of nowhere, because time has passed and I don't realize it.
But in this dream last night, my friend called me, and we were talking and I kept telling myself, "I must be dreaming this time, am I?" I kept testing to see if I was awake, but I was aware of being awake (in my dream!) It was so wonderful for that few minutes.... I was on the phone with a friend. I was not lonely. I was a real person. I had someone call me, and want to talk to me, and... it was so good just to not be lonely. It seemed to good to be true. But my dream seemed so REAL... and it felt so good for a few minutes.
Then I really did wake up. And realized that I had been tricked.
It had been so good in my dream, to just not be so desperate for a few minutes, to have things be okay.
i want that to be reality. i am trying so hard to make things real like that. not just in my dreams.

Posted by pilgrim | Filed under: Biofeedback