The Butterfly Effect

The other day I watched a movie called The Butterfly Effect.
It had a big impact on me. Its about a man who had a traumatic childhood and experiences all the flashbacks of times that he blacked out. As an adult, he tries to go back in time and change what happened through the flashbacks. But when he does that, he makes his present life completely different. So he has to keep going back to the time he was a child to fix things.
This movie really made me think.
I wish I could go back in time sometimes, and change things. But how different would my life be now?
Its said that the movement of a butterflies wings can cause a tsunami on the other side of the world.
I've always looked at life like that.
I remember once, I moved a stick in a stream, and wondered how I'd just changed the flow of the stream, and ultimately, the shape of the earth.
(Yeah, well, my mom has always accused me of thinking too much!)
After seeing The Butterfly Efect, I've been having dreams about going back in the past,back to when the bad stuff happened, and trying to change it. I've found the movie rather empowering, even though it was very scary at some points.
What I learned from this movie is that although I cannot go back in the past myself and change things, perhaps I can learn tools today and give them to Mae, one of the little ones inside, and help her use them to escape the flashbacks that she still lives in. To her, she is still lives inside those memories-- the bad stuff is still happening to her-- it is still her reality. Maybe what I can do is figure out how to hand her the tools she needs to change her situation. If i can just figure out how.
I haven't had time to share this with my therapist yet. But I hope she will be able to figure out what I mean. I want so much to make things better.

Posted by pilgrim | Filed under: Asthma

1. Posted by Priscylla brasileira on May 9, 2007