A birthday invitation
my birthday is coming.Mae is getting all excited.she has picked things out she wants-- dolls, mostly, and some other toys.
She made an invitation the other day. By herself.
For our therapist and her daughter.
Mae was at the front, I was trying to talk to her from the background.and i feel like. such .a. huge. jerk.
she kept saying how maybe now, K will comeback, because maybe she's going to surprise her, and be friends again (friend who has not said a word to us since january )
She kept saying how our T's daughter is also 5 and would probably love to come to a party and they could play and Carol could make cupcakes. And our T could come.
So i tried to explain to Mae...that this just isn't possible... boundaries and all between therapists and clients... and that it isn't likely that my ex-best friend is going to show up on our doorstep on my birthday, out of nowhere, especially with a Barbie in her hand for a present.
I tried to explain that we'd be home by ourselves on our birthday, but maybe we could still go ahead and watch Monsters Incorporated or one of her other favorite movies.
But dammit... Mae cried so HARD.
I feel like such a heel. . Since I was not at the front and not in control, there was very little I could do to make her stop. So she continued in her 5 year old way trying to convince herself that yes her friend would come back and try to convince me to give the invitation to our therapist "just in case... just in case."
dammit, sometimes I just hate having to take care of a 5 year old who is never going to grow up.
i gave the invitation to our T yesterday. i told her this story. i started crying.She wanted me to tell Mae thank you for the invitation. And and that if Mae shows up and wants to talk about birthday stuff, they will. I can't see THAT conversation going well.
dammit. maybe i'll just go to Toys R Us this weekend and buy Mae her Princess and the Pauper Barbie she wants or one of the games she wants. I wish I could buy her a real life friend.
i hate myself sometimes.
nobody
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under: Migraines
Hello friend,So did I miss your day??? I hope not, I want to get to wish you all a happy birthday on your day.Dear Nobody, you wrote:"maybe i'll just go to Toys R Us this weekend and buy Mae her Princess and the Pauper Barbie she wants or one of the games she wants. I wish I could buy her a real life friend.i hate myself sometimes.nobody"I think it's nice to want to buy Mae a doll, & it might be a really good idea. She is so young and expects birthdays to be special. I'm guessing that you aren't as thrilled with the prospect of a birthday. Can you be a friend to Mae? Does she talk to you? You could be her real life friend, so could Pilgrim.Hey Pilgrim,How does your husband deal with your birthday? Does he want to take P out for a nice dinner? or something else special? How does he deal with Mae's part of your birthday, cupcakes and a doll maybe for her to feel special, so you can feel special too??Hugs and Blessings, Judy