Stranger Danger classes

today the counselor came to the classes to do a presentation about good touch/bad touch and stranger danger. my class combined with another class across the hall. they watched a video and talked to the counselor about it, saying no to strangers, not going in cars with people and things like that.i tried to stay , as uncomfortable as i was. I tried as hard as i could to not scream and cry. finally i just had to leave. i couldnt take it anymore.i told the other teacher i couldn't stay in there for that, and i got up and went back to my room. i wanted to cry and scream and cut and die. i cant tell you what i was thinking. what flashbacks were going through my mind.nothing good. my life was filled with strangers and being messed with. and my parents leaving me with people who did bad things. there wasn't ever anyone to tell, and who do you tell when part of the problem IS your parents? and your parents friends? and your own relatives? who do you go to to tell when its your parents who are leaving you with the people they know you are terrified of , but they dont care? Now kids are taught to tell someone, but no one told me that back then, and when i did try to tell eventually, it was blamed back on ME. hate this.hate this.
I have so many nightmares every night.
Tonight is the anniversary of my 1st date with my 1st boyfriend.
I can't talk about it.
i wish i could just forget.
i wish my body could forget.
i wish the flashbacks would go away.
i am so alone.

Posted by pilgrim | Filed under: