Stockholm Syndrome, maybe?
This morning someone was asking me how can it be that I love my dad and how can I think good things about him . They just didn’t understand. But whats not to understand? It makes sense to me. He hurt my pets. He sometimes killed them (cant talk about it). He used to tell me he couldn’t stand to have a daughter like me. He used to threaten to drop me at the orphanage or drop me by the side of the road. I KNEW that if he got mad enough at me he would get rid of me or kill me. I KNEW it. But you know what? He DIDN’T. he could have but he DIDN’T. dad saved my LIFE.
How am I supposed to be mad at him for that?
Sometimes I wonder if maybe I have what's called "Stockholm Syndrome" ...its a syndrome where people bond to their abusers. Its a survival method.
My sister is angry at our dad. She doesn't have a problem with that. She calls things like she sees them. She doesnt understand how I can NOT do that. NO, me, i still keep my dad on a pedestal.
A friend wrote me today saying "I guess things must be pretty bad for someone to be grateful to be allowed to continue to live, no more." But i thought that everyone felt this way-- isn't everyone grateful to be allowed to live? especially when their life has been in danger all the time? if all you wanted to do was to survive another day, wouldn't you be grateful if the people you were afraid of let you make it?
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under: Biofeedback
I've read stories of child abuse and I've read how after each horrible event of neglect and torture, the child was grateful for living. The child wasn't thankful to the parent, but thankful for the fact of surviving. Do you see yourself ever coming to this conclusion??
Love ya, Judy
I've read stories of child abuse and I've read how after each horrible event of neglect and torture, the child was grateful for living. The child wasn't thankful to the parent, but thankful for the fact of surviving. Do you see yourself ever coming to this conclusion??
Love ya, Judy
But it was the parent who let them survive...so.. i dont know... that sounds like a concept that is just beyond me right now. besides i love my dad a lot. he is a good guy.
your dad doesn't sound like a nice guy. a good father would never have said or done those things. his job was to love you not hurt you.
-Sheila
You shouldn't be grateful to ANYONE for "LETTING" you do ANYTHING. Letting you live, letting you go somewhere, letting you have some money. YOU make your decisions. YOU MADE your decisions. No one did that for you. YOU survived. YOU made sure you lived. Dad did not give you some wonderful gift by sparing your life. He TOOK things away from you. ALOT of things. But your gratitude towards him is what kept you sane. It serves a purpose, don't forget that. Just don't be blinded by it either. Dad is not a savior. Dad is a tyrant, a pirate, a thief. Don't be blinded by this survival method disguised as gratitude. You owe our father NOTHING. NOT ONE DAMN THING. He TOOK from you, and took and took. Most things he took can never be taken back.
Just don't forget...not for a moment...that a person is comprised of their actions..their actions do not betray...and dad has some serious debt to pay. Not to us. But to the Lord above.
Love,
Your Sis