wasting time and energy

I am wasting time and energy right now.
I know what I need to be doing-- i need to be thinking, working on therapy stuff, on what I need to do to help things work better. I need to be journalling the things I'm thinking about (the past, everyone inside, why I dont want to work with them, denial, etc).
Instead I sit here and waste time staring into space or looking up useless information on the internet.
My excuse right now is that its late night Friday. I'm tired, I'm sick (why not take my medicine and get to bed, the smart thing to do?)

I try to stay detached from my feelings all of the time. Feelings are too uncomfortable for me. I always stay at least one layer away from them. All i have to do is dissociate a little and let someone else handle everything for me when its their turn. I dont have to feel anything.

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