i sound like a broken record
I know I sound like a broken record.
(Records? Remember those things we had before tapes and CD's and mpegs?)
i am so lonely and so bored.
I love to read, to make collages, to do quiet things, but I've had ENOUGH of those things. My creative impulses, which I'm usually ruled by, are gone this week. All I'm allowed to do these days is sit and be quiet.
I can't go places, can't run around. Its a beautiful day out, beautiful day for a walk or rollerblading or a bike ride, but because of my heart, I can't do any of it.
I'm so frustrated and depressed.
The kids want to play, but I can't let them. So I have inside kids making a fuss about how I'm mean, dont let them do anything.
I want to just run away, get away from myself.
Make a new person, a new personality... let them deal with this. Because I need to get away. I need to escape from this prison that is my body. I hate this body. I dont want it.
my depression (not just Nobody's) is getting worse. i feel so confined and hopeless. I feel like I'm turning into an even fatter blob than i already was.
i just want to disappear. i need to go away.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
Hey Pilgrim :)
I'm so sorry you are so frustrated with your orders to rest. I know how frustrating having to be still is.
You said it was a beautiful day and you can't play or exercise.
How about sitting out on the front or back porch and doing that thinking or journaling or reading something light and uplifting.
When I was bedridden I read some, journaled alot, and
of course I'm a TV hound so that was my filler.
But maybe the beauty of a day in spring can be a filler for you. give it a try sweet gal.
Hugs and Blessings, Love,Judy