Its my fault
Its my fault that we have to go into the hospital.
Its because I dont eat, because I am so depressed that I can't function. Its because of the cutting that I do, all the bad stuff I do. Now our therapist is abandoning everyone because of MY stupid, selfish actions, because I can't cope. Now everyone is upset and in a mess because in 6 weeks we have to go inpatient. It should only be me going. It isnt fair to them. It should ony be me being forced to go. I'm the only one who deserves to be left behind like that and forced to go into the hospital. i'm the one who deserves to be miserable, not the others.
nobody
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
Hey my friend,
It is not your fault Pilgrim has to go IP. You are not the only one with an eating disorder and you are not the only one dealing with problems having DID.
You won't be being left behind by anyone, not your T, not husband, not your friends here. And most importantly not by your friends within. This is, like Katy said, what T thinks is best for all of you and I think too it is an opportunity for you all to learn and grow through this experience. Some of it may stink, but overall it should be a Blessing to finally have people believe you and listen to you. You need to be heard and 2 hours a week isn't ok anymore, it's not enough.
In the meantime if everyone could agree to care for your body by taking it VERY EASY and letting Caroline or Mae or someone more willing to eat, let them eat the protein bars or shakes that your heart needs.
I know 6 weeks is a long time to wait, but I promise sweet friend that YOU will have your chance to be heard fully and to get some help for YOU, as all of you will IP.
You're in my thoughts and prayers,
Love, Judy
Nobody,
You certainly do not deserve to be miserable. And your therapist is not abandoning you, she thinks it will be helpful for all of you to go the hospital, but she's doing that because she cares about you, not because she wants to get rid of you. I'm sure all of you can learn something from going to the hospital, it's not just you who needs to be there. Try to think of it as a learning experience, it will give you a chance to work on things and hopefully you'll be less depressed and more capable of functioning afterward. Don't blame yourself for having to go, just try to make the most out of being there.
Katy