Plenty of time to think
I'm not allowed to do anything active.
That leaves a lot of time to sit and think and be here with feelings. Hardly my favorite thing to do. It's sorta like torture.
I've always been so active and such a hyper busy-body. Now here I sit because of my heart.
Have to rest, rest, rest, and get it better. All while I eat, eat, and eat some more.
I hate doing both.
I dont want to rest. What I want to do is run around the park until I am sweaty and exhausted and feel clean and pure and light. I dont want to eat. I want to be empty, feel hollow and like I dont take up much space. I want to feel like I'm shrinking... getting less and less visible by the minute.
The goal of my whole life has been to disappear.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
I really enjoy sitting on a bench in a busy park or road, and reading a good book :) You feel kinof invisible, but kindof different all at the same time. It's nice glancing up at everyone else rushing from place to place with furrowed brows, and thinking how relaxing reading is, and how unnessacery all that rush is.