Trying to find balance
AGHHH!!! I need balance so badly. Right now I need to make more good things happen.
I did something really good today-- a few things, actually. I went back to the DID support group that I used to go to. I started going about 3 years ago, but quit last year because I was just getting so bad off inside and so disorganized in my mind. Everything was just too triggering for me, and I isolated myself so badly. BUT TODAY I WENT BACK!!!*~*~*happy dance time *~*~*
It was good to be there again. Three people told me how much more rested and at peace I look now than I did last year. I was glad to hear that. They were surprised to hear about how much stress I'm under and all the things I'm going through right now (there are tons of things I'm going through... I don't even bother to start talking about them) because I just seem so at peace. That must mean that I am
1)dissociating really well or 2) too tired to care :) [It also means that for the 1st time in my life, I'm actually beginning to handle my problems better!]
One big thing that I'm dealing with right now is the consequences of being in the hospital last month. I got my paycheck today in the mail, and its $1000 short because of my absences from work. I dont get paid all that much to begin with, and a thousand dollars less hits hard. I'm not sure how I'm going to pay for my bills, student loan, and treatment this month.
There are a lot of other things going on, but... really... I'm too down inside to try to deal with them on my own. I wish I had a friend to talk to. I wish my therapist was here right now, at least. I have to hang in there til Monday.
I'm looking into a program here in my county that offers peer support programs... I really hope that the people will get back to me on that. They have a program where they schedule events for peers to get together and they match you up with someone to be like a mentor. I REALLY need that right now. I really need to have friends around.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
Yeah!
I'm so glad you had a DID group to go to and that you returned to it. I think you are still stronger than before IP and that could lead to the Peace ful appearance. Maybe you are realizing like us singletons out here, that sometimes life hits us like a mack truck and we can't find our way up, yet we do by facing and accepting the problems, challenges, losses, and doing what we can, little by little to cope and handle stuff..and for me, leaving the rest up to God. I hope you can find a mentor and continue with the DID group and the other group.
Hugs and Blessings, Love, Judy
I understand,its helpful to have someone to talk to.Everyone needs friends,but sometimes their hard to come by,especially when theres so few that we can relate to.
Im so glad you decided to go bach to your support group.Hopefully you,ll make some good freinds there,friends you could hang out with maybe.
Good luck with that new program too,hope it works out for you.