Trying to get myself together, and the perfect computer for DID people-- dual processor!
Its finally the weekend, and after an insane week, I'm trying to pull myself together. Not altogether successfully as it turns out, but, a little better than I have been.
Things have been so extremely disorganized. Not only in my head, but in my life, in my classroom, in my home. I cant find things, stuff disappears out of my hands because I'm switching so frequently that I cant keep up with anything. I am wanting very badly to do lots of negative behaviors like eating disorder stuff and cutting and things like that, so far I haven't, but the urges are so strong.
My therapist told me about Tuesday's session... apparently, "I" was pretty nuts. I dont remember much of this week. I'll have to take her word for it. I remember only small bits and pieces. Someone ELSE (inside) was saying they were me in my session, so that really threw off my T. I assured her it was NOT ME.
I swear, we need to wear name tags.
One thing I did this week to help myself was scrap my old computer, with all its completely mixed up files and pictures and documents and sites, and got a new one. I tried several times to re-organize the old one's files and stuff, but nothing helped. Too many minds working on it at once. Caroline and me and Jo and Missy and everyone else each had their own way of storing things and organizing, for the past few years. IT JUST DOESNT WORK.
So we got a new computer. And I promise, this one must have been made just for multiples!
It has a DUAL PROCESSOR! So basically, it has TWO MINDS. It can run several different programs and processes at once, so its not going to mind so much when Caroline is chatting, I am downloading photos, mae is playing a game, Tuck is searching the internet, ALL AT THE SAME EXACT TIME. How cool is THAT!? It is an HP Media Center PC with a pentium D processor. I'm hooked for life.
This weekend I'm really trying to relax, but its hard. There's a lot going on. I'm extremely stressed and depressed and dealing with a lot of issues. Most important right now though is catch up on sleep I think. Work has been nuts. I need to relax, drink lots of water, and eat healthy so that I can deal with next week since it will be here before I know it.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
