Here's Hoping.... a new doctor
Tomorrow I am going to see a new psychiatrist.
Please keep your fingers crossed for me.
Caroline called several people the last few days, left messages. Only 1 called me back-- this guy. It was odd, because most psychiatrists have assistants who handle their voice mail and their messages and appointments. But this doctor called me back personally. (Weird or good? Yet to be determined) Not only that, but instead of having to wait for months to get an appointment as a new patient (as is the norm for psychiatrists in this area), this guy has an opening for Wednesday afternoon. How WEIRD is that?
So... we're going.
*yikes*
The purpose of this appointment is to be honest. Caroline (acting as me) on the phone even asked this new doctor if he has experience dealing with dissociative disorders and PTSD, and he said he did... so... when I go tomorrow... I'm determined to be honest and tell him about the others.
I am so afraid.
Its SO embarassing.
Something I'm SO ashamed up.
My therapist says its not something I should be ashamed of, that she knows the dissociation is just a coping mechanism, that when I was 6 years old I didn't set out to go disappear and create other people.
I KNOW that... but it just still seems like all this is all my fault.
And I'm ashamed and embarassed about it.
Anyway, tomorrow is the new doctor guy. Keep your fingers crossed.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
