Dreams and Christmas wishes
I'm a grump tonight and need to get myself out of this mood.
Maybe writing about some happy things will help. Today my sister asked if it would be ok if she bought Mae a Christmas present. Of COURSE its okay!! Mae's so excited that someone thought of her. Last Christmas we got an old doll (old as in from when we were kids) and she was so happy. The kids have been cutting out pictures from magazines. Fisher Price toys are popular with my crowd. Mae really likes that dinosaur--the Roll-a Rounds Drop & Roar Dinosaur. The Little People things are also a big must-have. Luckily since I teach, I can get away with asking for these things. People think I'm asking for toys for my classroom, but I'm really asking for things we can play with. Of COURSE that Leap Frog Leap Pad is for the 1st graders!! ha ha. RIGHT after Mae and Tuck get a few hours out of it FIRST.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
Hi Pilgram. It is Lola here..Melissa is sleeping right now so I thought we could talk. It has only been in the last 8 months that I suddenly become a we. It has been soo hard to accept..esp. the memories of ritual type abuse. The saddness and the lonliness is overwhelming. And, realizing that soo much life is gone has been devastating. So far, I have met 10. I have a really good therapist, but, am still scared to let the kittle ones out(although Marina pops out spontaniously when our councelor takes out the crayons)In a strange way, I am glad to know that I am not crazy.I mean, the voices in my head..the automatic writing..I thought I was losing it until in one of my therapy sessions Mitch came out..it was a shock to me.Apparently, he is more of an introjection of the man who first shattered our heart.I guess he is the monster that has haunted us for soo long.Anyway,could you talk to me please..I need to find someone who understands all this. Lola