a Survivor's Group
My therapist e-mailed me yesterday that she wants me to join a couple of groups at this Womens Center in our city. I called today during my break and talked to someone there.
It was kind of hard.
She wanted to know (this is hard to even write) when I had been....um....i cannot get the word out tonight.
She wanted to know about the bad things that had happened to me in the past, what ages, by whom (in general) , if I had ever been to the doctor, if I was in therapy, things like that.
They are starting up a group that's going to be meeting a couple hours a week in the spring. My therapist thinks it will be good for me. It probably will be. I'll be scared, but... it'll be something different, and a challenge, which I need.
After I hung up the phone I was having flashbacks and sitting at my desk trying not to cry. I called my therapist real quick just to let her know that I'd called the place. Then I just sat there at my desk and trying not to cry. I can't just break down at work. There were flashbacks going through my mind. I was trying to just calm myself down and remind myself that nothing was happening then, that I was just sitting in front of my computer, nothing bad even happening, that I'd done something good. Its just that having to say things out loud-- that is scary.
I just sort of disappeared inside for a while.
I'll post tomorrow or later on about what we all talked about inside. We came up with some good things that needed to be worked on for quite a long time now-- core beliefs that need to be changed.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
I can understand the fear about starting a new group. I'm supposed to start a new trauma support group tomorrow. I'm very scared and hesitant about going. But I trust Donna that she wouldn't ask me to do something that would hurt me. And I know you trust your T that she wouldn't suggest something that would hurt you. Just like you were scared of going IP, it turned out be something very helful for you. I think this group might be helpful too. But it's ok to be scared until you get used to it. Thinking of you.