making myself crazy
I think I am making my own self crazy right now.
I'm trying hard to calm down my body and my mind so I can get to sleep.
I'm scared to go see my T tomorrow. I desperately need to talk to her though. I wish I was there right now. I'm terrified I won't be able to sleep tonight because I'm so worked up. I can't relax, and I've taken THREE things to help me sleep.
I dont know what message Mae left for her on Friday on her voice mail. What if T is fed up with me. She's fixing to go on vacation next week. She seems like she is usually tired by now. What if she's just ready to kick me out?
What if she's sick tomorrow or her daughter is sick and has to CANCEL?
What if she gets that "I need to talk to you" look and corners me or what if she won't let Mae talk? Mae needs to talk to her 1st before anyone else does.
What if things end badly like they did last week?
I NEED to have a GOOD session before heading off on the vacation I'M going on.
We didn't e-mail her or call her at all over the weekend to help her not be sick of us. Usually she has a long e-mail in her inbox waiting for her on Monday morning. Tomorrow she won't have anything.
lack of sleep is making me paranoid and worked up and i'm SO ..... MAKING MYSELF CRAZY!
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
Dear Pilgrim et al
The anxiety your are feeling is very normal when facing time away from T. Keepers, my wife, went through this a lot when she was in therapy. it does feel like it is driving you crazy. it seems to be a part of the transition during the journey of recovery for all MPD/DID's. For more info feel free to visit her site, you are not alone!
peace and blessings
john w
I hope your session goes well and that Mae gets to talk first. Sorry about the double post before. I got confused. (blushing)