The others feel like I'm a traitor
This is Caroline.
I have been pronounced a traitor by the rest of the girls inside.
Remember the "best friend" who suddenly out of nowhere disappeared
a couple years ago?
The one who scared us half to deal because we thought she was dead?
Then she only re-appeared at the time we were going inpatient... for a few weeks anyway. She came to visit us in the hospital (guess it was easier to handle us if we were locked up...) and then, a few weeks after we got out off the trauma unit, she disappeared again.
Well, she still lets us read her livejournal. Pretty much all we do is look at the photographs she posts-- because we love to look at the children in her family as they grow.
Well, she needed help with a school project on a certain disability. Which happens to my my area of specialty. So I told her she could e-mail me about it, and I e-mailed her back a bunch of links and some things she could do for her project. I signed the name of the what she calls us, not MY name. She always complained that she only wanted to deal with the "real" Pilgrim-- not "them." The thing is, she never ACTUALLY, really, ever had the "real Pilgrim". Its just what she thought she had. The real Pilgrim was always just varying degrees of us.
Now the others, especially Mae and Jo, think that I'm a traitor. One, for helping her out, and two, for signing a name other than mine. But the project was on something that is my specialty, something that I enjoy teaching others about, something I enjoy talking about. I didn't mind sharing the information about her. The others are upset because "how could I even WRITE to someone who hurt us so badly? Don't you remember what she DID? Don't you remember how we were scared that she was DEAD? Don't you remember the things she SAID about us?" Which is true... I just don't want to keep carrying on that pain. If there's a chance to forgive and forget, then I want to be the one who helps it along. However, I dont think that the other girls want to have any part of it. But hasn't all this pain and desperation over what happened 4 years ago been going on long enough?
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
in my very humble opinion, forgiveness is the only way that we can move forward from our pasts and grow as humans.
forgiving someone doesn't mean that you are accepting what they have done just that you have forgiven them for making a mistake, one that hopefully they have learned from.
can i ask what your speciality is? i'm curious about why and how people are who and how they are (does that make sense?)including those with special needs.
jamie
Caroline, I'm all for mending fences whenever possible. If the others don't want to associate with her, they don't have to. But, if this apparent reaching out will bring healing and restoration to a relationship, then I say go for it. The project she is working on may be the only way she feels she can try to get back in your lives. Anyway, that's my best guess.