I love Billy Blanks Tae Bo Fat Blasting Workouts, I guess....
Lately I guess I have lost some weight. I can't actually see it.
For some reason all my clothes have been getting bigger on me, some of them way bigger, like my pants. But it just makes me wonder if all my clothes have stretched out, or something. I fit back into some of my old "pre-recovery" jeans, which is nice. But lost weight? I don't know. I don't look like it. A few weeks ago at work someone told me, "You are SOOOOO skinny... I wish I had your body." Then today someone told me, "You've lost a lot of weight." But I don't see it. And I don't know how to handle comments like that. What do you say when someone says something like that, but you see the opposite? Do you just say, "Thanks"? Do you say, "I'm actually really fat, but thanks for trying to be nice"? Do you say, "Its all those Tae Bo tapes I do every week"? What is ok to say?
People say things at work sometimes about what we eat--- "you barely eat" or "out of all of us, you're the one who needs to go eat lunch first, so GO." Things like that. I dont have comments ready for that.
But I know I do it to myself. I've been working at this particular place for several years now, and thats about as long as I can hide things from a group of people. Four or five years seems to be the longest I can hide my bad habits from one particular group of people. So now people are beginning to say things, and its making me nervous. Caroline tries to say things-- tries to save us and our reputations. She tries to make comments like "Boy I had such a good dinner last night!" (suuuuure.....) or she brings something really healthy for lunch and gets it out in front of people. Or she talks to people about healthy habits and things she tries to do to take care of herself.
I'm worrying and waiting for the day to come when someone at work is going to flat out ask me, "You're anorexic aren't you?" (growl, snarl, gasp, horrow,I can see you're a bad person now- type voice.) THEN will Caroline save me?
My therapist and nutritionist haven't said anything lately about my weight. I mean, I haven't seen my nutritionist in about 2 months, since when I ran out on her at my last appointment. But, my therapist hasn't said anything about me losing weight... and she would say something, right? That's what she's there for, and she's the eating disorder expert. Since she hasn't said anything, maybe I haven't lost weight. Maybe people's eyes are just messed up, or, I dont know, maybe all my clothes HAVE just all stretched. I don't know. I am not sure what to do or say at this point.
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Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
no, people's eyes are not messed up and your clothes haven't have not suddenly streched. don't pretend to be naive. of course u know u r anorexic, and from what i read, u must be having a serious problem. try to save yourself before it's late. unless u don't want to...
Ummmm- I think you all are probably too skinny, from what I've heard reports of from your nutritionist and all. I think maybe your t doesn't know what to do at this point, because you-all aren't- keeping up your side of things on that? If people are commenting, then I'd take that as meaning something.