Cant keep up
There's too much going on. We are all just way too overwhelmed. There's just not nearly enough time in therapy when there is this much going on and a trip back to our family coming up in two days. Its too much. There's too much stress and its just too much. We feel weighted down, feel like we weigh 500 pounds. Its too much. We can't get the help we need. Crunch time in therapy, there's only so much our wonderful therapist can do between the dozen of us who need her in 2 hours right before our trip when we're all on the edge of a breakdown because of the trip. The least one can do at this point is try to keep the fires from flaring up too much, and it feels like there's no hope at putting any of them out.
Our poor therapist. She tries so hard to help. And she does help so much. There's so much progress being made in so many different places inside.
For now we just have to sit inside these fires and try to keep things under control as much as we can while we head back to where everything started in the 1st place.
Could everyone PLEASE hold off on all the negative comments please about "why are you even going on this trip if its so bad?" Our SISTER is there. She doesnt come here. This is the only way to see her. So we have to go. This is called love, people. Thanks.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
I'm glad you have a loving relationship with your sister. I haven't stopped by for a while...just saying thinking of you and take gentle care--especially on the trip.
Who is being negative? The words you use to describe going home are: 'too much' 'too much stress' 'weighted down' 'can't get the help we need' 'on the edge of a breakdown' 'no hope at putting any of the fires out'.
Good luck at hiding all that, stuffing it down, hope it is worth it to see you sista who would know u love her even if u didn't show up?
I would know too. I can only imagine how stressful it is to come here. No wait, maybe I can't imagine!
Someday I'll be able to go THERE. BUt for now, I too have my own weights and struggles. But someday, I'll be free too.
Love,
Your Sis
it's a strange sort of thing to say but i think that despite all the stress that is going on around going back there, there may be some good that is also happening.
part of the reason that we get stressed about going to places where we have been hurt is that our history tells us that this is what that place is. if you go back to that place and good things happen, you see your sister and her children, you can go to a park and let the kids play, or simply nothing new that is traumatic happens, then you are teaching everyone inside that feelings about places, just like how you deal with each other, can be changed with time and with patience.
it's so obvious that your sister would do anything for you if she could. she shows it to you and to the rest of us every time she leaves you an encouraging post .. and i'm sure many more times in a day, week, month.
try to occupy the kids with something fun. let them see that a place does not have to be associated with traumatic events. that those are just places and if you fill those places with joy and happiness, instead of the memories that you have today, then soon they will become something different for you.
it takes time. so take one trip at a time and each time, hopefully, it will get easier.
have fun with your sis!
I am here and smiling...
She is lucky to have all of you.
Maia