right around the time that jo left a subtle change occurred in you, jo, i wonder if you've noticed it? you've started writing with capitals. more importantly you've started writing the word "I" with a capital.

i tend to write in lower case more as a style choice but for you i always felt that it was more of a reflection of your self-esteem. the change suddenly brings to mind a young woman who is self-possessed and has a sense of her place in the world and her ability to achieve goals.

these attributes don't come to us at a certain age and there's no manual on how to become this person. for many of us it comes because whether we've wanted to or not we've accepted responsibilities and grown as a result of getting through each day.

it's an amazing thing that happens when we realize that as an adult we have the ability to affect our own moods and how much we allow those around us impact us either negatively or, more importantly, positively.

as you think about those people around you that seem to be ignoring you, try to accept that life is also happening to them. people often become self-involved at crazy times like this. just trying to get through the day to day while adding on the additional planning that the holidays throw at us. those that are able to manage it all without impacting others and their expectations are truely exceptional people.

try to believe that people aren't ignoring you. your therapist is likely very busy. the holidays tends to bring very stressful feelings for many people. your bosses are likely just trying to close off the year in preparation for the holiday break.

give them AND YOURSELF a break. soon the holidays will be over and everyone will get back to the normal rhythms of life.

by the way, it was a beautiful song that kat wrong for you.

sorry about that .. many many spelling errors in the above post.

the first paragraph should have read ..

right around the time that caroline left a subtle change occurred in you, jo, i wonder if you've noticed it?

the last paragraph should have read ..

by the way, it was a beautiful song that kat wrote for you.

hi jo,

i'm sorry if i came off sounding like i didn't believe in what you were feeling. i'm certain that it is exactly what you are feeling. i also wasn't trying to justify others actions. i only hope that there are valid reasons why people leave us without answers to important questions.

i hope that you see the growth in yourself that i am seeing.

if my posts distress you then please, take them down. i won't be offended. i promise.

Jax no don't worry your comments are always helpful and just fine. I didn't take down my entry because of anything you said.
I took it down because I realized how selfish and stupid I sound and was thinking about how I need to keep my big mouth shut and keep my stupidity to myself.

"how selfish and stupid you sound" ... "you need to keep your big mouth shut and keep your stupidity to yourself."

Pilgrim/ Jo - would you say such harsh and unforgiving words to someone else, words so thin on compassion and gentleness?
I don't think you deserve this verdict on yourself; try to give yourself a break honey.