broken.
i feel like i can't survive another loss. my heart hurts so much. i have to deal with it alone. maybe my therapist never cared in the 1st place. i dont know what to believe. the times when we worked together are so far away, like they never happened in the 1st place, like maybe i imagined them. The time went by so fast. It hurts to think about. Now I am left with too many questions and no answers. She chickened out and only terminated with a letter to someone else instead of calling me. She didn't even have the guts to speak to me in person.
Its like I don't know who she is anymore.
My heart feels so broken.
I want to sleep forever.
Yes, I'm eating. No, I'm not cutting. I said I would stick to those goals.
The inside kids are inconsolable. They don't want me-- they want Sharon.
I feel so inadequate. So completely lost. I feel so abandoned.
I was working so hard to not be left again. I was working so hard the past few years to change, to stop negative patterns. But it didn't work. What's the point in trying? Is everything I do an exercise in futility?
I hate myself so much. I lose everyone. Everyone's going to leave me.
I want to give up.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
As long as there's life... there's always hope... never give up... it's not worth it, to give up... hope in God, not on people... God loves you unconditionally.
As long as there's life... there's always hope... never give up... it's not worth it, to give up... hope in God, not on people... God loves you unconditionally.
Don't give up. There is so much more than this. I don't know when...but someday.
Love,
Your Sis