Back to work
Well it was time to go back to work today. I'm at a new school with all new people. The only people I know are another teacher and aide. Everyone else is new. Today went okay I think. I am making friends already with some of the people on my hallway. We're working really hard to be positive and smile a lot even though I don't really feel that way. Today I got my mind off Sharon for a couple hours at a time because I was so busy which is good. It makes me so nervous to be back at work and I'm pretty overwhelmed. A bit sad because I'm so used to having Sharon to go to the 1st week of school, and having her to talk to... that was something that I always held on to and looked forward to, always. It makes my heart hurt that I don't have that anymore.
So it sort of lifted my spirits today in a twisted way when I saw someone that I haven't seen since Christmas or so, and they said "What happened to you?" They told me I have lost so much weight that I am skin and bones. This isn't a person who has any reason to make anything up about me so I don't know, it sort of helps me realize that I'm not as fat as I'm feeling right now.
Well anyway,.so I think that I am going to have friends at my new place, and that will be good.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
YAY!!!! I'm glad it's starting out so well :-)
Hi Pilgrim
I haven't been reading for a while as work and life in general was so busy! But I've just been catching up with a few of your posts.
I'm glad to hear that you are putting up a struggle to be positive in your new job even though the loss of Sharon is no doubt particularly poignant at such a time when she would have supported you as your counsellor. I'm sorry to hear about the comments on your weight: is that a wake-up call for you to go back to the self-caring techniques you learnt whilst at that camp (sorry, can't remember what it was called but you will!) or are these comments to ignore because they're not helpful to you at the present time?
Wishing you all the best as usual.
Anna
I saw a lady at the school today that is a new teacher. I almost would swear she has anorexia but I can't exactly say for sure obviously. I told another teacher I thought she might. She is SO thin and she has very, very thin arms and...I don't know...I just thought she might by the type of thin she is...I could just kind of tell. I know she could not have weighed 80 lbs and she was very tall. I felt bad for her. I'm average weight now but struggled with EDs in the past and I know how awful it is for food to be such a focus. I truly hope you can find some peace with your new job and that God keeps gives you strength day by day. I have made this scripture my daily prayer: Mark 11:24