Really missing them tonight
I had a dream the other night about my old nutritionist, CA. In my dream she was sitting by me and just talking nicely to me. I miss that so much. And I miss Sharon so much. I just want so much to hear their voices and see them. I wish they'd at least acknowledge me. I sent Sharon a piece of homemade jewelry for her birthday last month and she didn't even acknowledge it. Of course, I didn't expect that she would. But a small part of me hoped, I guess. Just to even have a note in the mail saying "I got the necklace," even. I wish I could write to them and tell them how different my life is....how different I am now from the last January. A different person. Maybe someone they would like this time... maybe someone they would want to work with this time. Maybe someone they'd want around this time. I look, act, and talk completely different... I wish so much that I'd have the opportunity to at least have the chance to show them. I have changed so much, that I don't think they'd believe it if I just told them. They'd have to see it to believe it.
By the way, my class and I need prayer. I am desperately in need of an assistant in my classroom, to protect their health and safety, and my sanity. I can't go into details in a public forum, but due to the severity of the special needs in my class, we desperately need to convince the people in charge that its a good idea that there be another adult in the classroom. If you're a prayer warrior, please pray that God will open the eyes of the powers-that-be very quickly and we'll get an aide right away, before anything goes wrong in my room due to there being too many special needs children and not enough adults.
Posted by pilgrim | Filed under:
Sorry. :( I know how you feel if it helps any.
I wished she'd, at least, acknowledge your gift.
I found this not very polite of her...
I don't know if I told you, but your confidence in God helped me start to pray again. So today, one of my prayers will be dedicated to you and your needs.
Please keep up
Kris
Ah life.. its funny how people expect so much from others, but when they don't live to our expectations, whether it be big or as small as a 'hello', then we feel disappointed or depressed..
i think i've come to just numb those feelings and just take things as they go.. altho i think it might not be healthy, i guess i've just given up.. you can't expect anything of others, but what you can do is expect more of yourself and push yourself to be a role model for them..
I'm sorry there was no acknowledgement. Again, I hope that she is doing this because she feels this is what is best for you (even though you don 't feel this way). I'm sorry you're hurting.
You've said you have changed a lot. Keep going with that. Looking back is so lonely and hard and so difficult to not do. Keep praying, putting one foot in front of the other. It's in His hands.
I am very glad I came across this blog. I have an 8 year old adopted daughter with DID. I adopted her this year in Jan. She has been through some very traumatic things in her short life. She was diagnosed when she was only 6. She has a few different personalities, Josh, Courtney, Lisa, one we call Confused, and one we call Mr. Blank. I will be taking some time to read throughout your whole blog.
what do you do to fill your time and change your mood when things get bad and you get overwhelmed with memories of sharon?