Saying Goodbye
I think after four years of posting, I've gone around this mountain enough times. We all know what happens to me every fall, every winter. All my readers have seen me go 'round that mountain with relapse in the fall, recovery in the spring (if I'm lucky), losing weight, being lonely, doing well for a little while, going back and forth. We've all read my years of searching and not finding. I think everyone who was interested in my story at one time has heard all they wanted to hear.
I do believe its enough now.
I'm not leaving because I'm "bored" of posting, btw. Someone commented about that and I wanted to make a comment about it. I'm not bored of this place. Indeed, I actually LOVE this place. But I need to put it behind me. I don't want to focus on the trauma anymore.
A student of mine has just died, my whole school year has been one upheaval after another this year, and life is increasingly busy. This Pilgrim's heart has had enough. Maybe I can go find a new one... maybe God will eventually repair this one.
Thank you to everyone who has been kind to me over the past 4 years. I've met so many nice people, and received hundreds of kind people. But its time for me to go.
I am also leaving A Mind's Journey, my support site for people with DID. Everything there just reminds me of Sharon...and the inside kids... and when I had support. Of last year, when things were better, before Sharon hurt me, before all of this happened. I just want to bury it all and try to move on. A new administrator has been chosen to take over as of 9/23/2008. I am sure the site will be in good hands. I will no longer be in charge there and will no longer be checking messages there.
I do not want to be Pilgrim anymore. I don't know who I am, but I definitely don't want to be her.
My new art website is http://www.thecolorfulsoul.com if you want to find me.
Take care.
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I agree with the prior post. Your blog has been an inspiration to me, personally, and others for sure. You've touched people with it in ways that you couldn't fully understand. The commonality of your struggle and the struggle of so many others is what binds us. You've played the role of an angel in so many lives through your strength and will to expose yourself. Thank you.
"ditto" the previous two posts -- and thank you for giving your new website. You know I and many others are praying for you.
Hi Pilgrim
Although people reading may have benefitted from your posts, the main reason for you to post here was always because it helped you!
It sounds like you have tired of this means of self-recovery and I am sure that you will go on to find new and better ways, maybe it's your artwork, maybe it's loving your kids at school, maybe it's writing in another format.
As you know, I am a DID survivor. I am happy to say that I did stop my negative cycles, although anniversaries and times of year are still tainted by the past, I have found ways to celebrate them and to be less ruled by them. I hope you can find that peace too!
Love,
Anna
I understand, but I have a suggestion--how about starting a totally new blog and share devotional type stuff, have your readers followe a bible study with you, share insighht about kiddos, give us Moms out there fun craft ideas for our kiddos and even give craft ideas for us to try! You have so much to offer because you are so multi-talented and creative. Think about it and if you do it, send me the new address!!
PS
Have checked out your 'colorful soul' site and love it! You are very talented with words and objects.
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If there's no changing your mind, then best of luck, Pilgrim. I hope you find what you're looking for. Just don't stop searching, or something metaphorical like that. :) It's been inspiring reading your posts, and I hope things go well.