Hello :] I'm a college student in a psychology class and I was writing a huge paper on DID. Throughout my research I came across your blog and AMJ, both of which I cited with small anonymous quotes that I used in my paper, and as good online sources for community support. (hopefully that's alright!)
Either way I just wanted to say that I have sat here for almost 12 hours...12HOURS!:)... reading posts on here and AMJ that you have posted. I started out back in 2004... and worked my way around the best I could to read as many as possible... not to "study" you for my paper, even though researching for my paper was how I found you, but because I find all of your posts very interesting and insightful. I've been done with my paper for a while now, and I just keep reading. If it wasn't for need of sleep I'd probably sit here for 12 more hours! :) Some of the quotes you use once in a while, are great... and your stories are intriguing... I loved reading Caroline's lovely posts, and Mae's adorable one's as well :) I do not have DID but I honestly believe that for everyone who may, you must be an inspiration :) Hopefully you're not reading this thinking I'm some dummy haha... I've honestly been inspired just as a fellow human being by reading about you. I wish you all, all of the best things life has to offer anyone!
Thank you for sharing your world, with the world... even by that you have made the world a better place.

Keep on shining :)

-Rachel

Pilgrim,

honey wow, i have spend the last two weeks reading all your posts (from the first one till the last one) and i must say, i really admire you. you are a strong person. I never really knew much about DID until now, i have gotten a big interest on it and have read about it and done a lot of reserach. You are a great person and you are strong, you really deserve the best.

I know you dont want to hear it about your ex T, but honestly think about it; ever since Sharon stopped seeing you, you have became a different person. Maybe that's what you needed and maybe that's why she let you go. You see life in a completely different way now and that's good. maybe Sharon realized that you and the others were depending on her too much and that would have never gotten you to be more independent and change, so she figured it was the best thing to do. I know it still hurts that she let you go, but try looking things ina different way, look at it in a positive way honey. Talk to the others, Mae especially and let them know that maybe Sharon wasnt trying to hurt you, but just simply help you. Hopefull you do think about it and it helps you feel better.

Eat healthy, it's good for you. Do it not only for yourself but for you sister and her kids. I know you love them.

Pilgrim your a great person, from what i have read and you deserve to be happy. Give yourself a break from all the negative things and keep on focusing on the positive things in life.

I know this is the first time i post, but if you ever need to talk or feel lonely you could always email me. I like making friends. :)

well sweety i wish you and the others the best of luck. keep your head up and always remember that you are a great person and you deserve all the best thing in life and not a bit less.

-Jackie

It is SO hard to lose a therapist that you can really connect with...someone who is wise and who has the knowledge and experience to help us. I have gone through that.

My heart goes out to you, Pilgrim. I hope you can allow yourself to grieve in healthy ways.

I had a young intern therapist tell me something once that really helped me. I don't know if it will help you or not...but I share it gladly.

We were talking about losing friends...for whatever reasons. She said that it helped her to look at them as gifts for a time rather than losses. It put things in a more positive light.

Of course, that does not mean that we don't miss them...and even grieve for awhile. What it does do for me, though, is help me to be more open to making new friends...getting a new therapist. It also helps me to look back without quite as much pain on the blessings of the former connections.

But yeah, Pilgrim...it really does hurt, especially when it is someone who has been very instrumental in my healing journey.

I relate. I have a therapist who, even now, if I think of her I can get teary. She is thousands of miles away. I can, at least, talk with her on occasion...but it's not the same.

sending safe love and gentle hugs to all who want them...if you want them.

Survivor