July 30, 2004
So now I'm single. But not just single as in "I'll be 30 in five months and all of my friends have a SO (significant other)." I'm single with a freaking UHaul of baggage. "Hi, I'm Whitney. Not only have I had cancer, but I had a hysterectomy as a result of it, and I can't have kids. Oh - and did I mention that I was also married while I was going through it? Yeah. So I'm divorced, too."
I know, I know. At least I'm alive. And believe me - I'm VERY grateful for that. But there are days that I honestly feel like I was royally screwed in this entire deal.
This completely negates everything I have said about having a positive attitude and being an optimist, doesn't it? I don't think it really does. I mean, everyone has their moments, and today I'm having one of mine. I mean, I'm only human, so I'm allowed these every once in a while.
Well, okay. So they happen more than every once in a while. But only when I think about things too much. Like today, for instance! It's rainy, I have nothing to do at my office, so I just think.
Anyway, while I have only dated one guy that had a problem with the fact that I couldn't have children (yeah - he sucks) it still continues to be a major issue for me. However, the issue does take up less of my mind than it used to.
What's strange is that when I was young I decided that I was going to adopt children. I just always had this odd feeling that I wouldn't be able to have children naturally. There are some diary entries of mine from junior high and college where I mention that feeling. Strange how those premonitions sometimes prove to be true...
Well, this weekend I am having four of my best friends here for a fun weekend of Girl Therapy Time (GTT) so I am SUPER excited about that. One of my best friends' boyfriends (I'll call him D) sent me an email a few months ago saying that he needed her (she'll be CB) to be out of town for an evening so he could travel the three hours to her parent's house to ask them for her hand. How sweet is that?! So, being the person I am, I thought this would be the perfect excuse to have a party! She has NO CLUE what's going on, but when she gets back to town Sunday evening, they're going out to dinner, and he's going to ask her to marry him! I'm SO excited for them. They met last summer through match.com. The only ones I know who have worked out from that. My other friends who have ventured onto that site have only met weirdos.
So my girls will be here tomorrow, and I can't WAIT! I don't really know anyone where I'm living right now because I have been SO busy with school/work/etc. I miss my girls!
Okay, I'm sure that I've bored you all enough.
Have a fabulous weekend!
Posted by Whitney Dye on July 30, 2004 01:05 PM