Michelle passed away on October 4, 2004 at 10:40 AM. Prior to her death, she had been hospitalized three times in 6 weeks due to seizures and overall poor health. In early September 2004, Michelle visited her doctor, complaining of horrible pain that was making it difficult for her to walk. Tests revealed that her metastized colon cancer had spread from her lungs to her right hip and left femur. Chemo therapy to treat the tumors in Michelle's lungs was suspended and she began radiation therapy to destroy the new tumors in her hip and femur. Too tired to drive herself to her 14th(!) radiation appointment, Michelle called her Dad at work and asked him to take her instead. While at the doctor's office, she experienced a seizure and was hospitalized. Tests confirmed the presence of two new tumors in her brain, which could not be treated with chemo, and growth in the tumors in her lungs. Michelle had also lost a lot of weight and was no longer able to eat solid foods as the tumors in her lungs were pressing on her esophagus, making it extremely difficult for her to swallow She was moved to hospice care on Friday, October 1st once it became clear that there were no further treatment options available to her. She died a few days later, surrounded by family and her beloved pet rats Tasselhof and Mongo.

Michelle remained a fighter to the very end. Even when it was clear that the end was near, she courageously held on until her family and the nurses gave her permission to go. A memorial service was held for her the following Friday at River Hills Methodist Church in Burnsville, Minnesota. Her remains were cremated, as she had requested in her will and her ashes are scheduled to become part of an artifical reef at an as yet undisclosed location in the Gulf of Mexico in 2005.

I am disappointed because I was realy hoping to hear that the dominant mass in the right lung had shrunk.

Work was equally horrible the following week and I am scared that I will be fired.

When I got home I tok a nap and felt a little better. So I decided to attend a support group with my parents. Even though I was the youngest person there, I felt like I was amoung friends. It was so good to share my feelings abut going to chemo today. Much as I hate to sound crude, there is always someone there who seems worse off than you.

The group meets on my workdays, so I do not know when I will go again. Hopefully my regular support group will start again in the fall.

BTW, I had a talk with my boss and asked him to please take me seriously the next time that I say that I am too ill to work. After all, I think that I have called in once during the last year.