Over the past month or so I have been slowly recovering from a major spinal outage, (yeah, I know that isn't a real term but it is the only one that fits....Having my "back go out" sounds like it went night clubbing for the evening. Like that old joke: "I am at the age when my back goes out more than I do.")

Anyway, because my wife and I are preparing our home for sale in anticipation of a move, there are endless chores to do to get things ready. Many of these chores involve lifting heavy objects, bending countless times and twisting and turning. As I have explained previously, my wife is a sufferer off fibromyalgia and I will NOT place any further stress on her by asking her to do things I know she should not be doing. Since hiring anyone to do the work is a financial impossibility then it falls to me to do the bulk of the lifting and tugging chores and I was strongly determined to do them (my wife calls it pig-headed but tomato-toe mott toe).

I did, hope, resolve to do the chores slowly, but-by-bit, limiting my activities to just a few hours per day. At the end of each day, my back muscles are in spasm and I end up sleeping between the fuzzy hands of muscle relaxers and "The Recliner". This pattern continued for two weeks and my care seems to be preventing the back from getting any worse.

Now, I have to digress a bit so bear with me. Back when I was working in the corporate world and had a thing that I like to call "Medical Insurance", I would often go to my friendly neighborhood chiropractor for an adjustment. Sometimes these adjustments worked, sometimes they didn't but over the years I began to notice a specific "adjustment" that seemed to work best of any they tried. I am an observer, as a former newspaper reporter, that is what I was trained to do so I observed. I watched how the chiropractor positioned my body and where he pushed to make my back go "POP" and miraculously stop spasms for a while.

After leaving the corporate world and medical coverage behind, I had no choice but try to handle my back problem without the assistance of qualified and trained medical personnel. Right about now, I can imagine doctors and chiropractors across this country putting aside their own differences of opinion on back care to discuss lynching me or, at the very least waiting for me to paralyze myself so they can use me as an example of what not to do. Nevertheless, sometimes you do what you have to do to get by, and so I did. The wonderful thing was, it worked, at least on most occasions. My efforts would often be rewarded by that satisfying popping sound, followed a few hours later by a cessation of the muscle spasms.

Before you ask, NO I will NOT tell you what I do to make this happen. It is a dangerous and stupid thing to do and I will not be responsible for one of you out there causing great physical harm to yourself. I urge you to see your physician or chiropractor and allow them to put all those years of training to work....They have luxury cars to pay for you know!

Anyhow, to make a long story even longer, the self pretzelization stopped working about a year and a half ago. My efforts after that point always ended in the same yelp of pain and cursing under my breath. However, as I have said, I am the determined sort (never mind what my wife calls it) so I kept trying, time after time, failure after failure. That is, until last night.

After another tiring day, hot shower and muscle relaxers I decided to try again so, I assumed the position (no I will NOT describe it!) and applied the pressure as I had many times in past.

You have heard of the agony of defeat? Well this was the agony of success as well as the agony of the back, it popped! Unfortunately, it was followed not by the gradual cessation of muscle spasms as it had in the past but rather by a jolt of electricity down both of my legs and some of the worse back spasms I have experienced in quite some time. As my wife helped me take another muscle relaxer (still under prescription guidelines) and helped me to the comfort of my recliner, I figured uh-oh, now you have done it! You have REALLY broken something they can't patch!

When I awoke the next morning, I moved with much trepidation out of my recliner. I discovered that, for a change, I was not in agony. As a matter of fact, I felt pretty good. For the first time in a year and a half I could walk almost comfortably. I was elated.

But I know, like a someone in a horror story walking through stormy woods at night, that I have to watch my step. Out there in the darkness is another demon back attack waiting to pounce on me. So, I lift with my legs, try to keep from twisting to either side and rest the moment my back muscles begin to give me warning. I know that this is an all too brief (however wonderful and welcome) respite but I am determined to make the most of it. I will keep you posted.

"Glass Backs"

That is what one of my sisters-in-law calls her husband, my twin brother, and all of the rest of the males in my clan including me. The less than flattering nickname, sad to say, is a whole lot closer to the truth than I like to admit. My father bequeathed me and my four brothers many things in the way of genetics that we are proud of, our blue eyes, our longevity and relatively few health issues. The major fly-in-the-ben-gay-ointment is, unfortunately, that pesky bad back problem. Each and every one of us has had constant and serious back problems for all of our adult lives.

I have to confess, not one of us simply awakened one morning and mysteriously had a bad back from then on. In truth, we got our bad backs the old fashioned way, we earned them. My father, a carpenter, fell off a roof. My older brother had a brick wall fall on him. My twin slipped on a wet floor when we were in the Air Force and naturally, landed on his back. My younger brother, a police officer at the time, twisted his back while attempting to convince a belligerent lawbreaker that he did, indeed, want to place his hands behind his back and toddle off to the pokey quietly. My baby brother, a stage magician, disappeared off the edge of a stage during a performance. How did I injure my back? Well that isn't important. Okay, okay! I fell off of a skateboard at age 25. There, happy now? Riding the thing was easy. Stopping, I found, was a great deal more hazardous.

You might argue that my family has as much a problem with klutziness as we do with "bad backs" and you may be right. However, my point is that it takes only a reasonably active lifestyle (or for that matter an inactive one) to lead to acute and chronic back pain.

Besides the reasons listed above, exactly what causes back pain and how common is it? In answer to the first question; apparently almost anything! It can be a simple pulled muscle or a pinched nerve all the way to a wide variety of diseases, deformities and degeneration. Among the most common causes are strained or sprained muscles, arthritis, disk problems (that spongy material between the vertebra that is supposed to act as a shock absorber) and much much more (we will get into that another time).

Just how common is it? Studies have shown that back pain competes with the common cold as the main reason people see a doctor. Other studies show that between 80 and 90 percent of us will see a doctor at some point in our lives because of back pain. Personally, I am not altogether sure that humans were meant to stand upright.

The primary focus of this particular diary entry, however is a question that too many of us can answer all too readily. "What is it like when your back goes out?" The simple answer is that it HURTS, and it hurts a lot but there is nothing simple about having your back go out, especially when you are both an acute and chronic sufferer.

To better explain the experience, let me tell you about my week. To be frank, assuming Frank has a bad back, I overdid it this past weekend while helping family members prepare for a moving sale. No, I didn't single-handedly try to wrestle a cast iron stove into the back of a truck nor did I attempt to carry my infrequently used barbells out to the sale in a single trip. For most of us who suffer from bad backs that is not usually how it happens. The truth is that I carried too much, too long and bent over too many times and that was enough.

If you watch back sufferers on the many television advertisements attempting to peddle potions, lotions, notions and marvelous machines all designed to cure our aching backs, you would assume that it would happen while we lifted that chair into the truck or shoveled snow off our sidewalk. Those who suffer know it usually happens later when you have forgotten about the physical stress and strain of the day, bending down to tie a shoe or pick up a pencil can be the straw that breaks the camel's back (so to speak). In my case, all it took was bending over to pet our dog and that, as they say was that.

I cannot truly say I had no warning that a problem was looming. For the better part of the day, I felt that familiar aching, burning sensation on either side of my spine right at and just below belt level. I also felt that hot ice pick being slowly pushed into my left thigh. In addition, a relatively new warning sign, the top of my right foot began to ache followed by burning electrical shocks in the same area. Often, however, these symptoms will gradually subside and everything will be fine. This was not to be one of those times. As I began to straighten up, it suddenly felt as if two steel knitting needles attached to an arc welder were suddenly shoved into my spine about an inch below my belt. Electricity flashed down both of my legs in the blink of an eye. Sharp, searing pain went in all directions. As it often is, for a split second I wondered if this was the time that I would go down and never be able to get back up. Perhaps this is an irrational fear but in that moment it is very real. Before I realize it, I am on the ground trying to stand. My involuntary yelp of pain has brought my wife to my side. She helps me up and over to the safety of my recliner. As I cross the short distance, my legs feel like rubber and the sharp stabbing pains continue. Using as much upper body strength as I can muster, I lower myself into the chair.

Next time: The Aftermath

"Glass Backs"

That is what one of my sisters-in-law calls her husband, my twin brother, and all of the rest of the males in my clan including me. The less than flattering nickname, sad to say, is a whole lot closer to the truth than I like to admit. My father bequeathed me and my four brothers many things in the way of genetics that we are proud of, our blue eyes, our longevity and relatively few health issues. The major fly-in-the-ben-gay-ointment is, unfortunately, that pesky bad back problem. Each and every one of us has had constant and serious back problems for all of our adult lives.

I have to confess, not one of us simply awakened one morning and mysteriously had a bad back from then on. In truth, we got our bad backs the old fashioned way, we earned them. My father, a carpenter, fell off a roof. My older brother had a brick wall fall on him. My twin slipped on a wet floor when we were in the Air Force and naturally, landed on his back. My younger brother, a police officer at the time, twisted his back while attempting to convince a belligerent lawbreaker that he did, indeed, want to place his hands behind his back and toddle off to the pokey quietly. My baby brother, a stage magician, disappeared off the edge of a stage during a performance. How did I injure my back? Well that isn't important. Okay, okay! I fell off of a skateboard at age 25. There, happy now? Riding the thing was easy. Stopping, I found, was a great deal more hazardous. You might argue that my family has as much a problem with klutziness as we do with "bad backs" and you may be right. However, my point is that it takes only a reasonably active lifestyle (or for that matter an inactive one) to lead to acute and chronic back pain.

Besides the reasons listed above, exactly what causes back pain and how common is it? In answer to the first question, apparently almost anything! It can be a simple pulled muscle or a pinched nerve all the way to a wide variety of diseases, deformities and degeneration. Among the most common causes are strained or sprained muscles, arthritis, disk problems (that spongy material between the vertebra that is supposed to act as a shock absorber) and much much more (we will get into that another time). Just how common is it? Studies have shown that back pain competes with the common cold as the main reason people see a doctor. Other studies show that between 80 and 90 percent of us will see a doctor at some point in our lives because of back pain. Personally, I am not altogether sure that humans were meant to stand upright.

The primary focus of this particular diary entry, however is a question that too many of us can answer all too readily. "What is it like when your back goes out?" The simple answer is that it HURTS, and it hurts a lot but there is nothing simple about having your back go out, especially when you are both an acute and chronic sufferer.

To better explain the experience, let me tell you about my week. To be frank, assuming Frank has a bad back, I overdid it this past weekend while helping family members prepare for a moving sale. No, I didn't single-handedly try to wrestle a cast iron stove into the back of a truck nor did I attempt to carry my infrequently used barbells out to the sale in a single trip. For most of us who suffer from bad backs that is not usually how it happens. The truth is that I carried too much, too long and bent over too many times and that was enough.

If you watch back sufferers on the many television advertisements attempting to peddle potions, lotions, notions and marvelous machines all designed to cure our aching backs, you would assume that it would happen while we lifted that chair into the truck or shoveled snow off our sidewalk. Those who suffer know it usually happens later when you have forgotten about the physical stress and strain of the day, bending down to tie a shoe or pick up a pencil can be the straw that breaks the camel's back (so to speak).

In my case, all it took was bending over to pet our dog and that, as they say was that. I cannot truly say I had no warning that a problem was looming. For the better part of the day, I felt that familiar aching, burning sensation on either side of my spine right at and just below belt level. I also felt that hot ice pick being slowly pushed into my left thigh. In addition, a relatively new warning sign, the top of my right foot began to ache followed by burning electrical shocks in the same area. Often, however, these symptoms will gradually subside and everything will be fine. This was not to be one of those times. As I began to straighten up, it suddenly felt as if two steel knitting needles attached to an arc welder were suddenly shoved into my spine about an inch below my belt. Electricity flashed down both of my legs in the blink of an eye. Sharp, searing pain went in all directions. As it often is, for a split second I wondered if this was the time that I would go down and never be able to get back up. Perhaps this is an irrational fear but in that moment it is very real. Before I realize it, I am on the ground trying to stand. My involuntary yelp of pain has brought my wife to my side. She helps me up and over to the safety of my recliner. As I cross the short distance, my legs feel like rubber and the sharp stabbing pains continue. Using as much upper body strength as I can muster, I lower myself into the chair.

Next time: The Aftermath