June 12, 2008
Latest Cat Scan
Being a writer of sorts, it's strange that I'm having difficulty on how to write this. So, excuse me if I ramble a bit. Yesterday was the doctors visit and it got off to a bad start when I lost another pound. Then when the doctor came into the exam room, his body language was not good and he passed the stool he sits on and sat on a chair in the corner. I asked good or bad news and the answer was bad, but not real bad. The facts. Two months of the drugs and they basicaly did no good. The liver was ok, with a 1 mm shrink, but a new nodule was in the lungs and one other nodule in the lungs had grown 1 mm. So, I'm done with that set of drugs. I thought they were working as I had all the side effects as before. At least we held our own in most cases so I can't disagree with the decision to try these drugs again. To explain things and maybe to make me feel a little better, the doctor said that I was in no danger at this point as the liver is a rather large mass and my biggest nodule is like a thumbprint on it. He said I was safe for at least 12 weeks, although the lungs are starting to be a problem. The good news of this, maybe, is he gave me 3 weeks off to build my body back up. He is going to consult with the other oncology doctors to plan a new treatment program and one that would be sure to cover the lungs, as well as the liver. This was one of the best visits with the doctor I've had. He seemed really concerned about me and more than willing to sit there and answer any questions I had. I was tempted to ask the question about how long I would have a liveable life if I quit, but passed it up. I was getting along with these drugs so good, I'm afraid I won't be that lucky next time. I did get my prescription for the appetite stimulent and have taken 2 doses and have had no increase in appetite yet. It says it may take 2 weeks. Another $250 drug, but of course Humana gave me a generic for $4. Mentally, I have mixed feelings. I'm going to enjoy the time off again, but the new drugs do worry me. I know this is a long term thing as we've been through 3 years of this next month, but it can be depressing at times. I really get mad when I do the least bit of things outside and get pooped real fast. I don't know if I will ever recover the muscle mass that I have lost these past 3 months. I don't know what else to say at this point except to wish all of you good health, be happy with it, don't take it for granted and enjoy it.