(1) smoking (though much less than a while back... 1-2 cigs a day)
(2) drinking coffee
(3) sometimes not getting good/enough sleep
(4) not getting any sunshine because my office is underground.

These things are all wrong. I have to eliminate them from my life one by one. I will start with (3) and then continue with (2). Number (4) is independent of my will and number (1) is the last on the list. Don't ask me why, don't ask me why...

Today I cooked lentils (w/ onions, garlic, tomato sauce, and olive oil). They are not raw and they are cooked, but they are good for the body. I think my status quo will be 85-100% raw. Occasionally, I will have something cooked (for example, steamed potatoes, or steamed broccoli) with my salad. Or I will have some lentils, as they really contain a lotta good stuf for the body (like iron, I reckon).

In a couple of days or so I am starting a colon cleansing experience based on herbs. I am not disclosing the name of the merchant from whom I bought all the herbal stuff and the kit, as I will wait to see the results and then present it in a favorable or, depending on the case, unfavorable manner. But I cooked all these lentils tonight, it was like 1 pound of lentils... it will take me like three days to go through them (and no, I won't throw them away). After these two or three days, I will start decreasing my food intake and slowly going into the fasting which will be accompanied by the colon cleansing program.

*sigh*

Have I ever mentioned that I once was on the Atkins diet? I think it was for about... 3 weeks? Ayyyy... don't ask me how I got into that... the problem with the Atkins diet is that it really makes one lose weight (suprisingly, I know) and that you can't have fruit, which is horrifying. Another problem is that you get to learn how the shelf life of meat is prolonged through sheer iradiation.

Let me recap. Since some time in September I decided that "enough is enough" and "enough is also annoying" so I'd better change a few things in what/how I eat. I started to eat more raw the usual, and than what other (probably most) people consider "normal". I had to face two major challenges: (1) my birthday when a classmate of mine surprisingly showed up with a chocolate cake at my door (and Yes, I ate it!) and (2) my recent winter vacation in Italy (and Yes, I did eat cooked food).

It is a blasphemy to be on a raw diet in Italy! It is an insult to the magnificent Italian food. But I had to do it... with some notable exceptions (cooked lentils at the end of the New Year's feast!!) and salmon in lemon sauce, and some other yummy things.

Et je ne regrette rien.

Overall, I have maintained a 'safe' level of around 80-85% raw food going into the system.

Other challenges were posed by:

(1) Relatives insisting that raw onions are really bad for the stomach;

(2) Relatives insisting that raw cauliflower is even worse for the stomach;

(3) A number of relatives insisting that yoghurt is great, eliminating milk from one's diet is stupid, and protein can only be found in meat;

(4) And finally a host of compliments on how I (finally!) look, which kept initiating thoughts in my head that I could try a bit of Brie cheese and the rotation of the sun will not come to a halt.

The interesting thing is that: since I keep having a relatively high intake of fat (olive oil, avocatos, nuts, etc.) I have maintained a weight at around 146lbs in the past several weeks. Eating *some* cooked food has not done damage to that. Overall, I'd say that the weight loss record since September is reassuring. Especially since I really really ReallLLLlly eat whatever I want (so long as it is raw) and whenever I want.

The acne is history. My sleep is in no way affected by this diet. I have not had any major cleansing episodes. It's difficult to eat out (why do they always have to add meat to every salad that has a chance of being well-behaved?!). It's difficult to explain to people the nature of this diet, and its intended & experienced benefits. It's NOT difficult to stop thinking about food and realize that there is no benefit in cooking food to the point of no return. It's NOT difficult to realize what the body wants, what it's happy with, and what makes one feel generally good.

The short term plan now is to proceed through a series of detox activities (on which I shall not expand unless I have some serious achievements) and feel a bit more relaxed about life (going on vacation and observing all those carefree people certainly helps) and things such as "what NEEDS to be done in life".

Happy New Year 05 (nice round number...) to all of us out there.

Liliaak

To be very honest, I am suprised at myself. I have NEVER EVER in my entire life been able to follow a diet regimen (of any type, really!). I've even gone through the insane Atkins diet, and yes, the pounds did melt away, but my digestion was crap, and I just switched back to normal eating. Very rarely I miss cooked food, but I do indulge in herbal teas every evening, too. Plus around two coffees per day. This way of eating has taken away my stomach aches, which were very very upsetting. I could not understand what was going on! Perhaps my body was just saying no to the eternal abuse.

There is an entire school of thought surrounding raw eating. While I do not know all the health related details (and I would probably not agree with some of them), nor the philosophical arguments (especially on natural hygiene, etc.), I deep down inside FEEL that this is right for the body. And the evidence, so far, has been more than convincing.

Thanks again for your question, and wish you all the best.

I sent pictures to my parents recently and they freaked out thinking that I was on some kind of crazy diet. They said I have not looked that good in years. Well they were right. This food is doing something *good* to me... So I highly recommend it to everyone. The only problem remains: coffee and cigarettes.

I look at people around me and the older ones - just look real older. You can so easily guess people's ages. Hmm... sometimes I ask myself, why don't people want to stay young and beautiful for a longer period of time? If one sees their body decay, why don't they take some measures? Is it because the information is not avaialble? Is it because they don't believe that there are some solutions out there? Will I be like that, will I not care, and if so, why will I not care? Will it not be important to look good, and feel good? Will I feel good anyway because I have a family, etc.? I don't have an answer to any of these questions.

If one were sitting next to Demi Moore, would they be able to instantaneously guess her age? To someone unfamiliar with her, would a picture of her and her currect bf look odd? It's not that she eats raw or anything. And it's not the money either... how much can esthetic surgery repair? If one is severely damaged, nothing will work (Example: Courtney Love). I just think she takes care of herself. That's admirable in itself... Wish I had the will power to live a very healthy (preferably) raw lifestyle so that at 45 and 50 I am proud of how I look. And my children too tell me that they have a beautiful mommy. LOL :)

Now.... Two things I have to work on: [1] giving up cigarettes, and [2] giving up coffee. The former will be achieved only if I fast for 7-10days at least. The latter will be achieved only with a divine intervention... But that's not what one would call positive thinking...

But yes, it does feel good to be on this diet. I feel lighter (especially when I don't have my usual coffee), perhaps even more alert. I no longer get awful stomach aches (since I no longer eat out either). I am far less concerned with food than before. My favorite pair of jeans fit me perfectly (and another three or so pairs are patiently waiting in the wardrobe). I do not feel (psychologically) as if I am dieting, though following this 'diet' IS restrictive. I keep thinking of all these salads that one can make with tomatoes and avocado, or tomatoes and avocado and red onions. Sometimes I wish I had more will power to no longer eat combinations of food, but then again, tomato salad with nothing else? That's where I should be. But there is time... and gradualism might be a good philosophy here.

Speaking of gradualism, I do not seem to gradually give up the coffee. My intake probably shot up. Am I automatically compensating for the smaller volume of food?

There was my birthday recently and I did have to have one cake a few days ago. Ayayayyyy... my face just exploded. I immediately got a rush of acne and the most annoying "things" showed up on my face. My face is now healing, but it was as if my body said "HELLO! What are you doing, are you trying to abuse me?!". I felt sorry for that. I must really restrain from taking in super super cooked food, of any sort, even if it's a tiny bit, and even if it's a special occasion. Fortunately, I only have one birthday per year. And less motivation to celebrate it every year :).

I have not weighed myself in a while but it looks to me like I am stagnating at 154lbs. I am contemplating fairly seriously doing a fast for a while, perhaps that would induce some major cleansing. I am fairly worried that my body has not gone into any major cleansing episode since I have started this... maybe it did not need to? Nice possibility, but not too likely. So if my will keeps going at this rate, next week is fasting week, and more updates on the way...

No headaches either, and some weight loss. I am now at 154lbs and my old jeans fit way better :). So there are immediate results to a switch to a 90% raw diet -- something which is gratifying and certainly motivating. I have not been 100% raw since I still take in some coffee through the day. Am trying to make this relatively transitional just to make sure that I don't go beserk and give it all up at some point, in rage. Need to gradually go into something, get used to it, make sure it doesn't do me sudden harm. I've never been a fan of the "shock therapy" approach to economic transformation anyway...:)

Gotta chase and conquer the day.

Today I ate a bunch of fruit and a bunch of vegetables. As I was saying, I am no great cook, so I really envisage this as being a very very unsophisticated journey, cuisine-wise. I was thinking today, do people ever get bored while they are on raw food? A lady was mentioning on a website that she makes special sauces from seeds and eats them with carrots and celery. Sounds yummy, and sounds like I should get myself a raw "cook" book.

There are many thoughts in my mind and have to organize them. First, I did not really go into this without any preparation. I ate lightly this past weekend, and relatively healthy stuff. Healthy, as in the "vague" notion of healthy. But I did stick primarily to fruit juice and a few bits and pieces of cooked stuff. I do not really think that my body will undertake major, MAJOR changes. And I hope it does not revolt against this enterprise of mine, either.

Since yesterday I have had no major eruption of acne or anything, but there is a sore spot on my upper lip, now WHAT is THAT!? It feels like I bit myself by accident. That should go away, please, now. I've had no headaches either, and the only ones I might get are b/c I am not too good at hydrating myself (as in drinking plain water). I drink billions of juices, but not really water. They say the fruit alone should be able to provide all the water we need, so for ppl on fruit diets, water is not exactly necessary. They say many things, who can remember and take account of them all?

My sleeping has been quite good too and the scale showed a clear improvement, but I do believe it was triggered by my light eating over the weekend. I seem to be @ a significantly improved figure of 160 lbs. One would think that some miracle has happened. Well the secret unfortunately is that I lose weight Very Very Rapidly, and put it back on Equally Rapidly once I cease dieting. So this is an illusion, the fast weight loss. However, I shall not deny the fact that it's highly motivating too. Too bad that with weight loss comes no guaranteed happiness. Used to be younger and used to think so. And yet, when I was at my lowest, I was also the unhappy-most. In fact, let me write this correctly. At my lowest, I've had both my happy-most and happy-least moments. So in statistical terms, there is no correlation...

There is a beautiful website with amazing pictures by a lady called...Nora. Her transformation images are absolutely stunning. Very inspirational, too. Speaking of websites though, I must draw your attention to the links on the right side of this blog. They appear to be generated automatically, and last night there was a bunch of links to mood disorder support groups and stuff. Very very interesting selection mechanism. I think that the way this works is some search engine picks words randomly, and then matches them with the corresponding websites. Now: a very light reading of this diary entry would select: great, beautiful, happy, birthday, feel, hope, entertaining. So it'd better be that the links tonight be rising up to the challenge!!!

I am doing unjustice to Health Diaries by not entirely sticking to the healthy side of life. I must confess. I smoke. OOoops. That needs to be remedied. I mean, rawfoodist who smokes? Yuck! They say that while on a raw food diet, retarded addictions such as smoking (or coffee drinking, for that matter), will be decreasingly sustainable, and will vanish in time. That's something I really wish to believe. Otherwise I will have to wait for the day when a health scare will send me to the 'no-smoking' land, and it will take One Big Scare to achieve that.

This being said, enough for tonight, and leaving more impressions for tomorrow. Bottomline: this ain't easy, but it's not impossible either.

This was my first day on 90% raw stuff (some veggie juice, some apples)… and have been doing fairly well except that I obsessed about food and felt hungry through the day. But they say that it gets better after a while, so I am waiting for the ‘while’ to reveal itself to me: three days, seven days, three hundred seven days?

Well I am a terrible cook so I don't see myself 'cooking' any sort of fancy raw dishes (which I presume could be 'cooked', as in 'arranged' rather than cooked), so I will pretty much stick to very raw food (like in almost 'untouched', with the exception of a knife which is meant to bring it to an chewable size).

Now, the reason why I am interested in the entire raw affair is because it clearly is pretty much the smartest idea anyone can come up with. It leads to pure, undivided, perpetual health. That’s for sure… or at least, I strongly believe in that. I don’t know all that much about all the destructive effects of cooking food, but the theory is out there, and until the theory is found guilty, I will take the liberty to believe in it. Also, looking too much into theory at the expense of practice might not lead to the right decisions (yes, I do not like theories much... though they occasionally help). And since my inner voice tells me that this is right for me, I am going for it. I know it will not be easy, it might even get frustrating ('flu' symptoms and everything…) but it’s certainly worthwhile.

There is no other strategy that has made me feel generally Good before. Exercising has always worked, of course, but I would do it when I was mad; I was doing it to release all that negative energy, all that anger at certain people (so in other words I would just exercise when I got dumped!). Now, that’s not a good reason to exercise. Not sustainable either since getting dumped is not something I entertain thinking of as a 'habit'.

Furthermore, eating healthy stuff is by far the vaguest idea I’ve ever come across. Potatoes and meat were once considered healthy (several centuries ago, that is…) . Now, vegetables and fruit and whole wheat are considered healthy. Well, then, how come vegetarians don't look better (on average) than non-vegetarians? Or maybe they do and I've just missed it. I have been a vegetarian for as long as I can remember (perhaps... 6 years or so), and yet there have been times when my stomach ached because of the bad restaurant food, have been -- let's just say -- not exactly on the slim side, etc. So vegetariansm (or fishtarianism or whatever it's called) can't be the answer either.

Speaking of being slim. Yes, or rather no. I am not slim. I in fact weigh 165 lbs (edited, I'm afraid, I tried to avoid the pounds system since the numbers are higher than in kilograms! :)) and have decided that this is a beautiful round number that I am eager to forget. Rather, I want to feel better by carrying (considerably) fewer pounds, but not at the expense of feeling weak and lousy. I feel weak and lousy already, so something can't be right... Yes, I think that there is no other better option out there for me now than going raw. I am by all means convinced that this is the right strategy, and the right thing to do. Of course, I am thankful to those who have put up all the information on rawfoodism out there on the internet, which I have found and selectively read. It has been very helpful indeed.

In terms of how I shall structure this entire trip... don't know whether I shall be posting here daily (I hope I'll have the time!), or whether I shall write about what I eat, or what I feel or anythnig else... but this is, at least, the intent. If there is anyone else out there who is starting a similar enterprise, do let me know (perhaps you have a diary too, perhaps elsewhere?). All in all, I shall be around, I shall be writing, and reading. Will let you all know how this is unfolding...