On the Weight Watchers Circle

Guess what? Still here....

Yup, I'm still on Weight Watchers. I know I haven't posted in some time, but I have not left the plan. I know that I have two choices: stay on WW, or gain my weight back. I just wish I would stay on plan a little more often. Let's just say December was not a "diet" kind of month. I really self-destructed early this year, thanks especially to working in a school and being bombarded with cookies and other assorted crap for the entire month.

But it's a new year, I lost the Christmas weight and I'm currently at 192. That's 94.5 pounds down from my highest, and I have that 100 mark back in my sights.

Good thing I am feeling motivated again too, because, you know what? SOMETIMES IT IS REALLY HARD. I don't think many people understand how hard it is when you have a close relationship with food. I am obsessed with meal planning. I know that for me to be successful, I have to plan when and what I'm going to eat. So yesterday, Superbowl Sunday, I knew I needed to eat breakfast before church and groceries, lunch when we got home, and dinner before the game. All went well until it was time for lunch and my husband says "i'm not hungry". Now this made me feel guilty, like I was some slob for being hungry when he wasn't, but I got over that and had a snack anyway, because we were going to the mall, and really, it is EVER smart to go to the mall hungry?

You know what happened, right? The husband got hungry at the mall, and I had to SIT and WATCH him eat Arby's in the food court. It was horrible. He doesn't get that at all, that I wasn't hungry, but wanted to eat all his curly fries anyway, and it took all my self-control not to take them.

Then later....we had to stop and drop something off to a friend bowling near our house, and they had a HUGE superbowl spread out. They told us to go ahead and have something, but you know there was nothing core over there. All I could do was look at the tortilla chips calling my name. I just wanted to get home and have our nice planned dinner.

Noone understands the way that food calls your name sometimes.

Parties and Parties and Parties...

Some people say losing weight is easier in the summer because you can exercise outside, you go swimming, you can eat fresh fruit, etc, etc, etc. All true. But what just KILLS me every summer...parties. Weddings. Showers. Housewarming. BBQ's. Kids' birthdays, whre they only serve pizza and ice cream cake!!! For the Love Of GOD is there no end!!!

Ok, I got a little carried away. But you see my point. This weekend I have a concert, a BBQ/birthday, and a housewarming. Is it any wonder I get a little obsessive about my meal planning? Do I have a choice?

It IS possible to stay the course during parties. But it takes a lot of work, and planning. You have to talk to yourself...say SELF: this is not the last time you will ever see or eat food. You don't have to try EVERYTHING. You can even eat beforehand so you are not starving when you get there. And then, here's the other thing....you can TALK at the party instead of eat. Really. Ask questions. Play a game (note: drinking games are not as helpful here). Just stay the HECK away from the chip bowl, because you know once you dive in there, there's no going back.

I can do this. I currently weigh 196, 90 lbs down from where I started. And I want 100 down, so I will not over-indulge this weekend. Wish me luck.

The Vacation Mentality

So you're going along, losing weight and doing pretty well, or at least hanging in there, when along comes....a vacation. So you plan for it, obsess, really, thinking about what you'll be able to eat on this vacation.

What will I eat in the car? I can't stop and eat at the rest areas, that food is fried and wayyyy too many points.

What will I eat when we get there? Where are we staying? Can we stop somewhere and get a salad?

And then the vacation hits. You start off small, eating pretzels in the car and stopping at Ruby Tuesday's for lunch. So far, so good. But then it gets harder. Dinner was later than expected, and you're really hungry! So you have a few things not on the core list. White rice, some bread, full-fat ice cream...

OH NO! Now it's all downhill and you might as well have some pizza and ice cream, you already blew it.

That is the vacation mentality.

Sigh.

It Really Does Work.

Just in case you were wondering. Weight Watchers really does work. I'd be at goal a long time ago if I followed the damn plan every week. But I've been following it more weeks than not lately, and I'm down now to 197. Finally broke the 200 barrier, and almost hit 90 lbs. lost total from the beginning. So it does work.

And as you know, I do core, but my mother recently rejoined with me again and she likes the flex plan better. So I thought I should tell you about her too. She is the reason I started, after all. She offered to pay my way and go with me, which she did, and got to lifetime, but then gained it back, like so many people do. She started coming back with me a couple months ago (Feb? March?) and has really been determined and motivated. She's lost twenty pounds now and is back to not having to pay for meetings. She is such an inspiration. If she wasn't my mother, I'd be jealous! I'm so proud of her though, and I hope I can keep losing the way she has been. Really, she just decided that enough was enough. She still goes out, goes to parties and all, but she's very picky about what she eats, and portion control is the biggest thing. She is definitely better at that than me.

I'm having a good week this week too so hopefully another loss is in the works!

Rainy Saturday

I've been inspired today, feeling sick and a bit cranky, so here goes:

Mary's Top 5 List of Annoyances At a Weight Watcher Meeting:

5. Members who get there late and are really LOUD while the meeting has already started nearby.
4. Members who think the meeting is all about THEM and noone else.
3. Members who bring their kids and don't keep them quiet, or don't leave when they start acting up.
2. WW staff who are unorganized; leaders who start the meeting late (like we have nothing better to do than sit there and wait).
And the Number one annoyance is......

Weighers who say dumb things at the scale.

And I've heard so many! I wish weighers would just say nothing when you gain. It's like at a funeral. There is no correct thing to say that will make us feel better. If I gained, just be quiet and let me wallow in my failings. Believe me, if I have a question, I'll ask.

I burst into tears at my meeting last week. God, can you say hormones???? I guess...or because I was getting sick, but usually a gain doesn't bother me that much. But, it was a three pound gain. My weigher says, "but look how far you've come" which is great and all, but doesn't change the fact that I just gained a whopping three pounds. One pound sure fine, I can deal, but three...just leave me the hell alone.

But actually I've been doing pretty well lately, last week's Easter gain put aside. I actually weighed in the week before at 200 and a half, which is why the gain was so brutal. I'm so close to the land of weighing less than 200 I can taste it. And I just bought some new roller blades, and roller skates for my husband. Would love to get some for the dog, but I think that only works in that Jeanne Garafolo movie....

Tonight is my friends 30th birthday. I had that honor a couple years ago, sad to say. Should be a fun night out, I have only used 5 bonus points so far, so I am not too worried about staying OP. I wonder if beer is good for colds?

Forget the numbers.

It's all about the scale. Some people weigh once a month. Some people, once a week. Others, every day. I've heard of people who know precisely how their numbers fluctuate DURING the day. Why? Because they can't stay off the scale. The scale should not have this much power.

I'm so sick of the numbers. Last week at WI I gained thanks to TOM. Today I feel incredibly bloated for some strange reason, so I'll be lucky to get it back off, I fear. I'm ticked. I just finished venting this to my mother, and do you know what she said?
"But you've changed your whole lifestyle; that's what you're supposed to do!"

And I have. Some lifestyle changes I made while on flex, but these have happened since I've been on core:

I don't eat frozen dinners, I cook. (I learned how). I like fruit! I eat salad almost daily. I try new foods that sound weird and healthy...and like them. I drink milk. I eat when I'm hungry. I stop when I'm not. I hate fatty ground beef. Flavored yogurt tastes weird. I exercise. I try to be active. I started ice skating. I work out with friends rather than go out to eat with them.

I don't care what the scale says tonight, I know I'm on the right track.

Nachos are not core.

The hunger comfort zone is a big part of the core plan. You're not supposed to get too full, but you're not supposed to get too hungry either. Getting too hungry is a major trigger for me. We went to a hockey game this afternoon, and I had had a good breakfast, oatmeal and scrambled eggs w/ f/f cheese (all core) but about halfway through the game I realized not eating lunch was going to be a problem. They don't exactly have core foods hanging out at the concession stand. I have yet to see any fruit there, unless you count fruity wine coolers. LOL. So I went up to the counter to get a large popcorn, what I felt was the best of the worst, and I left with large nachos. Spur of the moment slip. At least I shared them with my husband.

Tonight we had a spinach chicken lasagna recipe with whole wheat noodles. yummy. It wasn't completely core, but it was close.

I had a pretty good week. Over the weekend we hosted a football playoff party, and I served low fat stuff without anyone really knowing. I love to have control over the food. One friend who's on WW brought cookies though, which irritated me but noone shoved them down my throat did they! Oh, that was me...

Weigh in tomorrow. I lost 1.5 last week and would love to do it again.

Four days in a row.

I weigh myself every morning except on weigh in day. WW tells you not to do this, by the way. They are afraid we will get too upset at the results and quit working the program. So I allow myself to weigh, but also promise myself not to take the results too seriously. Besides, when it shows a gain, it's not exactly hard to figure out why, most of the time.

But this week I have managed to weigh EXACTLY THE SAME for FOUR days in a row. I just don't know how to handle that; it's a new one for me. Up, down...but the same? For four days? Weird.

Other than that it's been a pretty good week. I've taken up a new exercise....ice skating. It's a lot of fun; I've gone twice so far with a friend of mine who is also in WW. I'm thinking about splurging on used skates now. Today, though, it's the gym for me. I have to do something to get a different number tomorrow. I just hope it isn't higher.

It's been so great to get back into core eating. I made a huge batch of pork chops and veggies in the slow cooker and have brought them for lunch most of the week. Last night's dinner: big salad and whole wheat macaroni. It was so easy to get my husband to eat core food. He has liked pretty much everything so far. Today for lunch I had morningstar farms tomato basil burgers...yum! Tonight of course we're going out and I'm planning on getting steak and a baked potato. mmm. Now I'm getting hungry.

Trying the Core Plan

It's almost the New Year! Are you thinking about going back or trying WW for the first time? You should try Core!!Do I sound like a commercial???? Sorry. I love January though...not for the weather, which sucks this time of year, but the whole idea of renewal and being more motivated.

This month will be six years I've done WW (at least, most of the time). We'll see next week what the number is; I haven't been brave enough to weigh in yet after Christmas. I thought about doing points this week while I was home on Christmas vacation, but I just can't. Really. I'm so sick of counting points after all this time that I go over on principle. ha ha. Which leaves me with Core. THANK GOD.

Excuse me as I sound like a commercial again, but core is the best thing that ever happened to WW. First of all, it basically shows you the way you're supposed to eat, and encourages it. You know, fruit? Veggies? Milk? All "free" on the core plan. There's no eliminating an entire food group like some plans do. (No carbs for you! LOL)It's made a huge difference for me since I will eat Core free foods before something I have to take out of bonus points. But on flex, I did not have the same motivation to pick healthier choices and ate too many junk food type items (chips, cookies, ice cream).

I know, I know, I lost 100 pounds on flex, how could I pick on it? Well, because I also gained back 40 lbs. counting points. Problem with flex (in my opinion) is that it's not a life plan. Core is. It's easier to eat out on it too, I had grilled chicken, salad, and a baked potato tonight, all core except for the salad dressing.

Oh, and I don't hoard points anymore either. On flex I would eat lighter breakfast and lunches so that I had more points for dinner. I was STARVING when I got home from work. Now I just eat core foods, and the funny thing is, I don't really eat more overall. Weird why that happens, but it does. A mind game maybe? Since I know I can have it, I don't need to overeat it. Ah, there are so many tricks we play on ourselves....

Happy New Year!

(Heather, thanks for writing, I hope this answers some questions!)

Definition of Success

Soooooo....it's after Christmas, I'm supposed to be writing about how AWFUL I did, how UNBELIEVABLE I was, how many COOKIES I ate, etc, etc, etc. But guess what. I am not going to do that. Who the Hell doesn't eat crap at Christmas? Of course I ate too many cookies. Of course I didn't do well. I didn't plan to eat salads!

yeah, I'm a little fired up today. I got so tired of listening to people on the WW message boards talk about the perfect plan they had for the holidays. The perfect core meal, how they would tell off their families who dared to make them a non-WW dinner. Imagine! It was pretty nauseating. Guess what! I wasn't perfect. I didn't plan to be. After almost six years of weight watchers I have learned a lot. If you drive yourself nuts you will want to quit. So I let the holidays happen, I enjoyed them, with my new husband and all four sides of our families. Yeah, that's right. FOUR FAMILIES. Do you think you could stay on a diet (or healthy lifestyle, like good weight watchers are supposed to say) with four families to visit!!! LOL. But it doesn't matter. It really doesn't. If you ate the whole fruitcake, so what? I ate so many cookies my heart raced all night. My body doesn't want to eat that way forever, and I knew it was a temporary break.

Here's my definition of success: do you let the holidays ruin what you are doing for yourself, or do you understand that Christmas is Christmas and move on? I have always moved on. YES, I know, I haven't been losing in months, but I have maintained, and that counts for something. I was so excited yesterday to start core again. I was thrilled to go grocery shopping and get good, healthy food for myself. New Year's aside, it is the time to renew yourself, and I have started already. I really, really, really would like to reach goal by next summer. I know core can get me there.

Fast Food is Still Really Lousy

If you're watching your weight and you think you miss eating fast food, don't bother. It's still terrible. Now, I'm not talking about your baked potatoes and your salads that you can get. I mean real fast food.

Last night I had a lousy weigh in I didn't feel I really deserved. So, in that case I felt I had two choices:

A. Be mature, remember all the rules of the scale, remember my successes, and know that I can and will do better next week.

B. Be not-so-mature, go out to Wendy's and get a double cheeseburger combo meal instead of the salad, since I figure, heck, I'll earn that number on the scale.

You can guess what I did. The burger was awful! I can't even tell you how bad it was, which of course didn't stop me from eating it, and then I felt worse for getting it in the first place.

Whew. Not a good night. But I'm back on core today. Just a'spinnin my wheels.

But Saturday is my Christmas party. And I'm going to make a few core items. My friend is bringing the ever necessary veggie tray, and I'm making oven fries and low-fat spinach and artichoke dip. Oven fries are the best! You just cut up baked potatoes, put a little olive oil on them, a packet of onion soup mix, and bake for a half hour. My husband loves them. Plus I'm going to buy some shrimp, also core. Sure, they'll be other stuff there that I will eat too, but I figure if I can set myself up for more sucesses, why not?

Persistance. I've said it before. Yes, I gained this week. Yes, I haven't been losing. But I haven't given up, and won't ever, since that would just mean I gain more, and faster. I will lose, I will get under 200, hopefully by the new year, but I'll get there.

Stuck...

Still doing core. Still stuck around the same weight. And it's not like I don't know what the problem is. Every week I do all core all week until the weekend. Then I use some bonus points for date night with hubby. Then I use a few more on Saturday. Then, if there are any left, they are gone during football or whatever on Sunday. Usually by then I'm over too. It's so frustrating to weigh myself and watch it go back and forth, especially when it's me holding myself back. I'm starting to wonder what I'm afraid of? I can't wait to be back under 200, but I can't seem to make the sacrifices to get there.

Thanksgiving was pretty good. Had dinner at dad's, and more to eat at mother-in-laws. Knew it would be a tough day, since I never use bonus points during the week. Ta-da! Two pound gain. It hasn't helped that I've been sick too, so I haven't been working out. But, I won't give up. I haven't been losing, but I haven't been gaining either. That should count for something.

Why lose weight?

OOPs, haven't written since I went back to school. It's been a busy year, and a very frustrating one. Lots of contruction, new staff, less money, etc, etc. Stress sometimes gets the better of me, but I try to leave work at work and enjoy the rest of my life. Which isn't to say that I don't love my job, because I do. I really love working with the kids, helping them research and find the answers.

I was thinking about losing weight (gee, how unusual). Why lose weight? I mean, I remember when I was really heavy, and I felt that there was no help for me. What changes someone's mind? What's the click? I don't know what mine was...I went to WW convinced I wouldn't lose. And then I did. Is is that overweight people get so used to things not being the way we want, that we figure we should just shut up and get used to it? Or get over it?

I get so frustrated with myself when I screw up. And I don't mean, oh, I ate some wrong foods, but really screw up, where I can't get back on track for weeks! My birthday was a couple weeks ago, and so I let things go a little, never thinking I'd have a hard time coming back. I mean, I know that WW is a life thing. I know it...it's either WW, or weight gain. But I just kept putting off that "return to sensibility" thing each day. It was almost like I wanted to get in all the naughty foods I could before I started over. I gained a few pounds thanks to that. I'm at 208 now, but I expect to have a good loss next week. The first week back in business you always do.

But back to the click. Someone asked me, how can we convince people to give WW core plan a try? How do we convince them that it's not a "DIET", and so much better than anything else out there? (it's not, you know...i definitely don't feel like I'm dieting...just eating better).
I don't know. Some people have given up so drastically that they'd rather have SURGERY to lose weight. I guess the first thing that has to happen is that an overweight person needs to feel that they are worth something. For me- my mother joined with me, and paid for me, and encouraged me. And that attention, I guess, did the trick. And gave me the click.

Why Why WHY???

Why do I do these things? I just polished off half a carton of light ice cream. I never get into the ice cream! (It belongs to hubby, who is at work.) I just wanted a little something sweet, a taste, not half the carton!!!!

Oh I can't wait to get back to work and get back on track. I spent the morning helping movers put all my shelves and books back in order. I didn't eat anything until 1:30. I'm sure that was the problem. I don't do well if I get too hungry. The hunger scale of the core plan is really smart--you're supposed to never get too hungry, and never get too full. It makes a lot of sense. Well today I've managed both, because now I'm too full.

Labor Day Weekend!

I am having a rough week. Maybe posting will help give me a kick. I think it's the stress of going back to work--I am a high school librarian, school opens next week, and they are just NOW putting new carpet in and my books are all packed away.
Plus, the NY State fair is down the road from me. So my days have not been all-core, not by a long shot.

So my last post I was 206, and sadly, I am still at 206, I'm going to weigh in this morning (maybe) and I'll probably be up a bit. I think I am just coasting until work starts and my routine changes. I know it will be easier to settle down then. Summer is just so hard with all the parties and events. It gets tiring. But I am so close to breaking 200, and I want it bad, so there will be no giving up! I'm just going to do the best I can over this long weekend.
It hasn't been all bad, I have tried some new recipes and had some successes, which is why I've maintained. I have to remember that. Focus on the positive, and remember, guilt has no place in weight watchers!

P.S. Thanks for the comments. It's great to know people are reading and getting something out of my journal, especially those also doing Core! It's the best program out there!