A Savvy Career (IBS) Girl

Dating without the Dumps (Literally)

After dating a special someone for the last seven months and moving into the boyfriend arena, I am still finding creative ways to hide my IBS struggles. I call it "tummy aches gone awry" or "churning insides". I never really mention the word 'IBS' in fear he will look it up on the internet and conjure up images of all the struggles I go through. He tries so hard to understand when I know an attack is coming on. He offers to rub my stomach, give me hugs or make me tea -- when I really just want to be left alone in a sound proof room with a nice sanitary bathroom lined with pillows and blankets.
Recently we took a weekend road trip of over 400 miles one way. My anxiety leading up to the trip made me sick and gave me a migraine. I prepared with healthy snacks and going on a fruit/ veggie diet the week prior (doubling my intake of water). Thank goodness for truck stops and my tiny bladder. We stopped at every rest stop and slowly made our way to the destination. Every stop we made took away a little bit more of the anxiety.

She gushed...Unfortunately, at times, she also gushes.

The end of summer consisted of some heavy dating. To be honest, its rather daunting for an IBS sufferer to consider dating again. Think about it: its an unknown dinner (yikes), with a new person that has never even heard of IBS (boo!), and the possibility of a two hour movie attached (kill me now). Dinner comes with the annoyance of having to explain all the things I cannot eat and why, no matter how much you insist it tastes amazing and that you are spending a pretty penny on me, I will not be eating the Kobe beef thankyouverymuch. Then comes the landmine of transportation. As a veteran IBSer, I like to be in control of my own destiny -- in case the need to run home becomes an issue. But men seem to take it personally when I insist on meeting them at the desired location. In a big city, isn't that just savvy dating?

Tripp'n...

I'm in San Francisco Union Square. I've had two attacks in two days. I'm fearful of taxis and every meal that I must consume. Its not the way I want to live my life. Hiding from furthering my career and shying away from every dinner encounter.

Watermelon a Day Keeps IBS Away

More accurately, the right type of fruit each day keeps IBS away. I'm not much of a fruit and veggies eater but my week-long test of eating fruit every morning or evening (watermelon, papaya, banana, or just a mix) has been rather successful. I began by increasing my intake of water for three full days. I really didn't plan it that way, but with the recent heat wave, it's been a nice side effect of roasting in the heat. Then I started buying those instant fresh fruit cups at the local market that run $2.99-4.99 each. A pricey investment, but right now I'm barely getting off the couch much less sitting in the kitchen slicing fruit.
By the third day, I had some cramping but also had a movement that made me feel significantly better. The next four days after that, I had a movement per 1.5 days (yippee!) that was relatively painless. In fact, by the 6th day, my bowel movement had stopped ... stinking. I know. Weird. It had also started to discintegrate faster in the toilet bowl. Those of you without IBS will find me strange, but my fellow suffers know that a vigilant watch prior to flush can mean the difference between going to happy hour with my friends or an evening of reruns with my dog.
Anyhow, I was told by a doctor once that a healthy (poo) is marked by little odor and easily flushed. I hope this one psuedo-factoid is true and will mark off my little experiment as a success.

Birthday Wishes Flushed Down the Toilet

I'm 29 today. That means surviving another year living with chronic IBS. Of course, when you have IBS and chose to celebrate momentous occasions (like your last year as a 'twenty-something), you will inevitably suffer the consequences.
Lack of sleep, plenty of socializing, mixed with a healthy dose of alcohol meant that I spent Sunday afternoon in the bathroom. I always feign throwing up, but in reality I'm having another IBS episode brought on by the classic IBS trigger. This time around, nausea came along with the painful cramps as well as plenty of gas. It's never a good sign when you have to decide between throwing up and eliminating your bowels. Not to mention there is only one toilet bowl, so the decision has to be made fast.
Hours later, I went through my thoughtful gifts of clothes, purses, gift cards…. but what do I really want for my birthday? A new GI track thankyouverymuch.

Mayday! Bowels Bursting!

I stand defeated. Today my IBS won in the battlefield of work. It lanced my bowels until they split, proclaiming itself victorious.
It first led a quiet sneak attack, disguised as tagalong cookies, fried octopus and mayo shrimp. It then struck me in my stomach, the sharp pain shooting down to my legs, and warning of its pending eruption. I tried to hold it in - running back and forth from the solitude of the women's stall - often tripping on my own feet as IBS cramps paralyzed my clumsy gait. Twenty minutes I sat there, waiting for the all clear signal, with many false hopes. As the clock ticked to 3pm (a meeting with the department), I knew that I had to make a run for it. I exited the safe haven of the restrooms and ran to my office, throwing caution to the wind as I yanked the laptop from the outlet and shouted, “Please reschedule the meeting!” I was tricked into thinking IBS has surrendered. I started the car and screeched out of the lot. IBS was back to make me bleed.
For the very first time in my life, I didn’t make it home today.
.

Taste of the Bitter (Eastern) Medicine

Accupuncture has now morphed into needles + ingestion of bitter medicinal tea + skin cupping in an effort to aid my IBS as well as my migraines. While IBS symptoms and migraines are in two very seperate parts of my body, I do know that migraines aggravate my IBS. It might be that stress is a trigger/ agitator of both or that the migraines adds to my bowel tensing. Either way, its just another pain that I must live with and accupuncture/eastern medicine has attempted to aid in its remedy.
I last wrote about the needles (YIKES!) and how they did make me feel a bit different. Overall, I would say the last few weeks have been very body stress free. Ingesting the tea was almost worse than the needles. Imagine coffee brewing for two days then left out for another 24 hours. It took me an entire episode of Will and Grace on rerun to finish the serving. Within 12 hours my colon reared, not being used to the cleansing nature of the medicine. My insides churned continuously for two days -- nothing us veterns aren't used to, but in the end I felt a whole enema cleaner.
Would I do it again? Jury's still out. I think I have to get to the point where my body accepts it as a part of my normal diet. Getting to that point isn't easy with meetings, conferences and lunches. Maybe I can take a week off.
"Boss, I shall be working from home this week so that I may run continuously to the bathroom and evacute the bitter tea unsticking unmentionables from my colon. Thanks."
Next time: Skin Cupping

A New Strategy: Accupuncture

I'm willing to try anything once if I think there is a good chance it can help to improve my IBS. Accupuncture isdefinitely one treatment that takes a slight leap of faith. Needles? All over my body? Yes, I was desperate.

I got this card of a Eastern Medicine practice from a co-worker. The office was right across the street and my insurance covered it with a small copay. My co-worker insisted that I give it a chance and go the first session with an open mind. Appointment made. I meet an older Asian gentleman with a slight accent. To tell you the truth, that made me feel better especially when he started describing the energy of my body. He believed it whole heartedly - and not just because he learned it from formal education, but because he lived it. Fully clothed, I stood in front of him as he pushed on various spots on my body. I'm still anxious for the needles, secretly hoping that the introduction session doesn't include any real ones. Then he requested that I lay on the bench, still fully clothed.

If you've seen the last season of Sex and the City, you'll remember Charlette's accupuncture sessions to remedy infertility. You'll also remember her having a breakdown in the middle of the session and running out with dozens of needles poking out of her face. That scene played over and over in my mind as the doctor placed the first needle on the top of my hand - giving the head of the needle a "flick" to puncture my skin. "OUCH", I said. Ok, so I was being a bit of a baby. It didn't really hurt, more like a pinch. Another dozen pinches later (few on my face, few on my hands, few on my feet) the doctor tells me to relax for ten minutes and suddenly the image of Charlette pops back into my head. You have to understand the unexpected claustrophobia that can come with having needles sticking out of you and every movement results in a little pain.
After forcing myself to breathe, the ten minutes passed. The results? The following day resulted in regularity and this odd relaxing sensation that lingered.

We'll have to see about second session.

Diets are Personalized

I've had several people recommend certain books, certain diets for me to follow. I've read them all and realized quickly that an "IBS Diet" is about as realistic as an "IBS Solution". I've been testing and testing suggestions for the better part of my life. In fact, my good foods and bad foods change constantly throughout time. For awhile there, I was a mess after eating soy ice cream but now I can tolerate it. Too much shrimp will tighten everything, but many of the solution diets base their recipes on shrimp. Spicy stuff? That's touch and go as well (I do make sure there is no oil). My point is, you really have to evaluate your own solution. This is such a unique and little known about syndrome that you can't base your diet on someone else's experience.

Woe to the IBS Biz Traveler

Climbing the career ladder has forced me into the world of the more frequent traveler. As a recent high stress business trip panned out, I found myself with insomnia, diarrea, cramps and serious anxiety. It took me five full days to recover from the trip.
Even with 'buffer days' (arriving early to acclamate and leaving late to enjoy something of the city), I really couldn't do it.

IBS Suits for the IBS Woman

To my fellow IBS career girls - how incredibly important is it to find slacks that button loosely at the hips rather than snugly at the waist?! What about suit jackets that don't let you breathe? We all know that fit is of the upmost importance in fashion, but for an IBS girl, we are talking about the difference between a pending attack or an uneventful day. How different is our thought process in comparison to our 'normal' coworkers. I wake up and stare intently at my closet wondering what top + bottom makes the most fashion and just-in-case-I-get-an-attack sense. Is this shirt going to cover my unbuttoned pants incase I happen to feel sick? And IBS women hate wearing thongs. They look sexy, but only when my bottom's not sore or irritated. When that happens, the hottest lace number from La Perla is the last thing I want on my body. And in that case, is my panty line showing? Oh, and I swear that a man invented hosiery. So here's my criteria for IBS suits:
1. The waist band of my slacks need to be loosely fitting around my hips.
2. The sweater top needs to be able to hang lower than my hips so that it can cover my waist band in the event I want to unbutton. In a perfect world, the sweater should also include a pouch (like a kangaroo pouch) around the tummy area so I can slip in a slim water bottle to warm.
3. The jacket should hang slightly over my VPL (visible panty lines) and have a snug yet not tight button.
4. The preferred footwear should be ballet flats. Comfortable and easy to make a getaway to the bathroom.
5. Never ever ever suggest that wearing hose makes a suit look more professional. Those things are ridiculous. Why in the world do I want to feel like I'm sucking in the whole day? It makes my insides hurt. Women shave, wax, fake and bake - is that not enough? Do we really need to look like our entire leg is all one color when everyone knows its not? So my last proposition is to rely on knee highs or let our legs go free. Faux pas are for people who care and men that created such restrictions.

What comes first? IBS or my new job?

New high stress job + travel schedule = increased IBS symptoms. It's a mathematical equation that never has to be proven since I'm living proof. I started a brand new job this month. High pay, high responsibility, high stress. Not that my last job was so terrible. In fact, it made me happy; I loved the people, loved the work, even could handle my boss. I almost stopped experiencing severe IBS symptoms (hence my hiatus for two months). But there's this crazy urging in my brain that pushes and pushes me to be a career girl. The urging makes me want more and not settle for comfortable. And anyone with IBS will tell you, comfortable is worth more than gold.
Have you ever been to "The Counter" in Los Angeles. There are several of them. Hamburgers made to order - beef, turkey or veggie. Of course, in theory, this sounds great. I get to build my dream veggie burger of dried cranberries, sprouts, honey mustard and tomatoes. At $8, its a pricey treat, but what the heck, I make more money. I ate a handful of fries, sat next to Stephanie Seymore and went back to work. Between 3pm and 5pm I was running to the bathroom every 15minutes. This also meant trying my hardest to avoid detection and timing it perfectly so that no one else was in the bathroom with me. I felt like a goshdarnfreaking spy. Normally, my digestion would be fine, but with the added stress of this new job and on edge thinking that I'm not up to par with their expectations, my colon is probably prespasming. I just look at it as my colon is allergic to work.

As a side note, thank you so much to those of you who have commented on my health blog! The only way to deal with this is to realize that you aren't alone in facing it. There are others out there who understand even if your friends, boyfriend, family, boss, coworkers, dog or cat don't.

IBS Quashing My Dreams & Aspirations

This is a story of a girl...a strong independent woman who, at five, saw herself as the future U.S. president. At thirteen, she was determined to be the future head of an international corporation. At nineteen, she was content with the VP of marketing. At twenty-six, she wanted to have her own business.
As days grew longer and the rungs on the corporate ladder sometimes faltered, the journey to the top seemed impossible - yet never improbable. There was no amount of work politics, overtime, abysmal salary that was going to conquer her determination and drive. She could handle the shouting bosses, learning new programs, seemingly working harder than anyone else. There was nothing that would wane her spirits.
She didn't count on the power of IBS...
IBS is a physical pain, an emotional depression and an internal blender that chops up your insides. The pain is so intense that it floods into your mental psyche and brings you to a level of depression where nothing is longer possible. Every step closer to your dream becomes exponentially harder as you face issues of travel, demanding performance, and having to explain your health. You try even harder to create the facade of strength and independence. Inside you feel like a weak fraud, running to the bathroom doubled over in agony.
It’s Friday. Another week has ended. My IBS attack last evening has left me in shambles. I cried in my recovery just wishing it would all end. I don't know how others do it. I can't keep living my life within a physical and emotional roller coaster. 90% of the time I deal with it and brush it off as if I'm the stronger entity - but deep down, I know who's really in control.

Death by Chocolate

Granted it wasn't the best combination of foods for lunch, but it really started out quite innocently. Instant vegetarian chili in a cup from Ralphs. Add water, stir, microwave and repeat. I should have known when they requested I leave it marinating for at least 10 min. So after the chili I was still hungry.
Microwaved instant rice with instant curry - mild. Mix together on paper plate. I wasn't feeling too great at this point but then my boss came around the cubicals and tossed thankyouverymuch See's candy boxes. I was hoping for the cheap box of assorted options that could possibly include nuts and caramel. Instead I got the pricier dark truffles - so yummy but after one I started in with sharp cramps. Doubling over at my desk I considered sneaking out early but was in the middle of a group project.
Gives death by chocolate a whole new meaning.

IBS Testing: Vegetarian to Vegan to Raw

Last week, after another day of agonizing pain and nausea, I decided to take another step forward into the abyss of dietary restrictions. Go raw. Go raw. Go RAH! My feigning excitement of a cheerleader was comforted by the precursor of an hour and a half massage.

So I visit Juliano’s Raw on 609 Broadway at the corner of 6th. A calming little retreat, the décor reminds me of a Venice canal café. I settled in the back patio that is hidden by overgrown plants and orchids, promptly ordering glasses of double filtered water – my roommate swears by the Japanese ultra filtration technology that makes regular H2O taste like smooth silk.

My choices for the evening:
MEAT 'N' POTATOES $13.86
A savory mushroom walnut loaf served w/ cauliflower, "mashed potatoes" & sides.
STRAWBERRY MILK $9.24
Frozen strawberries, activated almond milk, vanilla & love honey.

An expensive meal in any region for any single working woman, but was downright delectable. The strawberry milkshake was topped with pomegranate seeds and raw cocoa bits finished with a sprig of mint. The ‘meat’ was nutty and beef-like (though it’s been over 15 years since I’ve had a steak) and cauliflower mashed potatoes could almost pass for potato salad.

I felt revitalized and a bit high. Two days later, my system ‘cleansed’ itself, very much triggered by this raw stimulation. I’m not ready yet to embrace the high maintenance diet change, but one taste and you’ll realize why some base their entire wellbeing around raw foods.