July 26, 2004
July 2004
From Cared for to Carer.
Over the past 5 years I have been acting as a 'carer' for my mum. She suffered a stroke, which she recovered from quite well, but has been left with a short term memory problem. So I look after her making sure gas rings are off, taps are not left running, deal with her letters and finances and generally make sure she is safe and okay. I visit her every day and we chat and sort out daily difficulties. She gave so much of her life and now its my turn to take the time to make sure she is okay. We are very close. She is my best friend as I am hers. Even though I am 34 she still sees me as her little baby. Well don't all mothers! She still worries about my health and makes sure that I am okay.
Life can be cruel.
I went to the dentist this week on Tuesday for a normal checkup. Expecting a clean and polish I left with a very bitter taste in my mouth and a heavy feeling in my heart. The dentist told me that she wanted a second opinion from another dentist, which she called in and confirmed her thoughts. It seems that in my palet I have something which she called 'white spots'. "I want you to go to an oral surgeon. I think you may have cancerous tissue in your mouth. I think he will do a biopsy to check."
Well knock me back with a brick wall!! I only wanted a polish!! It made me recall a conversation I had with myself one night, when your laying in bed and things are running through your head, that I have had something wrong with my heart, my spine, my head with the breakdown I had...all that's left is cancer Lee. Well it just goes to show, be careful what you 'wish' for! It's not confirmed yet. I'm still waiting for the appointment. I expect I will deal with it as I have all things, one day at a time.
I have a holiday to look forward to and that's what I'm concentrating on. I feel sure that should I get bad news, there will be someone who will come along and save me once more. Should the worse happen, there will only be one regret in my life, that I am not married and do not have children. The rest of my life I am content with and have accepted as a natural life path and 'cest la vie'. When my time is up, be it 5 months or 25 years, I will go contented, but still broken hearted.
Posted by Lee on July 26, 2004 05:04 AM