December 9, 2007

I can't count the number of times I've logged on here to create an entry and not been able to.
Here I am, with so much to say, and no matter how hard I try, the words just won't come. I was really surprised to see how many of you have read this; it took me for a loop. What a gift you gave given me! To know that someone is interested enough to read what goes on in my mind and to leave such kind words just blows me away.
Much has happened since May of this year. More is on the way. I thought I could write today but it's just not happening. Maybe later.

Posted by Sue Checkley at 12:01 PM | Comments (0)

May 12, 2007

Well, this is what happens when you go digging around, looking for info on stuff. You sometimes find what you weren't looking for but it finds you.
The cancer's back.
I've known for a couple of months now, but this is the first attempt I've made to write about it. Putting it down in black and white makes it seem more real and that's probably why I've been avoiding a post for the last while.
Would you believe I'm shaking while typing this?
I think I'll go to bed now and come back later sometime this week. This is what I've been avoiding; the attempt at getting started again.
It is, after all, 1:15 a.m. and rest is what I need. It was a long day. Mark & I helped celebrate his parent's 50th. Wedding Anniversary this afternoon. Of course, this got me thinking about how we'll never get that close. It's 5 years next month for us; I'll be happy if I'm still here 5 years from now. Yes, I would very much like to make it to 10 years! (or 15, or 20, or 25) Yeah!! A Silver Wedding Anniversary, that would be nice. Something to shoot for.

Posted by Sue Checkley at 10:02 PM | Comments (3)

January 3, 2007

Well! I think I've finally caught my breath (figuratively speaking) enough to share the most recent developments in the continuing saga of "Living With Lung Cancer".
You remember back in April 2006 when I introduced that cute little couple, Noma & Gord? Well, the couple has become a trio. Mycobacterium Avium (intraoculare) Complex (or "Mac", for short) has joined the other two in the residence they've set up in my upper right lobe. Got the pantry stocked and everything! Nothing can be done for it for the time being...just keep an eye on things.
Just to be sure of not being left out, my urinary system has decided to get in on the act as well. Bladder lets me know when it wants to empty, but takes its sweet time doing so. Takes forever to begin (though the "urge" feels "urgent") and then slowwwwwly trickles out. I do end up emptying a "normal" amount the "normal" number of times per day. Of course, I asked the G.P. to send me to a urologist to see what could be causing the problem.
Enter "Dr. I Know Everything & How Dare You Ask Questions" who begins by telling me it's probably my hormones (or lack thereof) that's causing the trouble. Happens to women of a "certain age" don't you know. Tubes start collapsing...but he can "fix it". First he sends me for a urodynamics test; the test designed to erase any traces of dignity you may have left. Go back to him for a follow-up and now the cause is "bad habits", he says. I say, "What exactly do you mean by bad habits? Do you mean holding your urine in and not using the facilities when you should?" "Yes", says he. Also, he gives me a slightly technical explanation on the results of the test, and when I ask for clarification by saying: "Correct me if I'm wrong, but are you saying my bladder has shut down?" and he says, "Yes", I'm stunned. But not to worry, he can "fix it" he assures me. Now I don't pretend to know anything about how my urinary systems works, but common sense would say that if urine is flowing out of my body when it's supposed to (ie. when I sit down on the toilet, as opposed to involuntarily coming out on its own) then my bladder must be functioning. Slowwwwwly, but none the less working. After this assault on my intelligence, he proceeds to tell me to go home. He'll have a nurse come around to my house and show me how to catheterize myself, which he wants me to do 3 times a day until he sees me again on January 9th. This is on December 6th. " Measure how much you void and keep a log" he tells me. This may even correct the problem and I may "start going right" he explains. But if not, he can "fix it".
All this during the week we're having our basement waterproofed and guys are down there jack-hammering and raising copious amounts of cement dust to the point we have to leave the house and stay at a hotel because I can't be breathing that much into my already poor, damaged little lung and well..........so you see what I'm up against!
The first visit from the nurse took place back in my home, although for awhile I visioned her tracking me down at the Holiday Inn. I explain my predicament to her, she catheterizes me after voiding and I only supply less than 50cc into the "top hat". We have some discusssion about the whole procedure. Next day, same stuff, same result. New nurse, same discussion. Third day, I'm confident enough to do the deed myself and with the same results, we have the same discussion. This is the 3rd. nurse I've dealt with and we're all in agreement. Why the hell am I putting myself at risk of infection to produce no significant amount of urine,(less than 50cc each time) and should I think about getting a second opinion? Of course, the nurses told me "I'm not saying you shouldn't do this" but I decided that this was ridiculous and I just wasn't going to do it anymore!
Back to the G.P.'s office. She's on holidays but her replacement tells me he's in agreement with my estimation that the urologist is an idiot with no bedside manner who belongs in the research lab and not on the front lines dealing with patients. So now I have an appointment set up for later this month with a female gynocoligist/urologist to see about a second opinion.
To be continued!

Posted by Sue Checkley at 5:46 PM | Comments (3)

September 18, 2006

It's been four months since I've made an entry, mostly because I just couldn't be bothered. This is one of the problems I deal with on top of being a cancer survivor; recurring depression. It's chronic and I've been this way since I was a teenager. Only in the last four or five years was it recognized for what it was and consequently I now take medication to help aleviate the symptoms. Throw in hypothyroidism and fibromyalgia and I've got a pretty thick stew cooking in this five foot frame of mine.
Thankfully, some friends of mine taught me about 15 years ago that no matter what the problem is, if you try to handle things one day at a time, you'll be o.k.
And I'm o.k. And you're o.k. and everyone is o.k., o.k., o.k.,(well not really everyone) It's 11:30 p.m. and I'm tired and silly so it's time to log off. After all this time, not making an entry, this is good for now.

Posted by Sue Checkley at 8:17 PM | Comments (0)

May 10, 2006

Friday was my first day at "Bronco Busters". It's an exercise and support program for people with COPD, chronic bronchitis and emphysema. My respirologist recommended the program to me, believing I will benefit from the exercises that strengthen my muscles and help me learn to get the most out of life every day. My problem is slightly different than most of the people there due to the fact that I have radiation fibrosis, but the symptoms are the same. Shortness of breath is a fact of life for me now and this program will teach me how to manage this and other symptoms of reduced lung capacity. The exercises seemed innocent enough and I breezed right through them. When I woke up Saturday morning, it felt like I'd been hit by a truck! Every muscle I had (and a few I didn't know existed!!) was screaming in agony from lack of use. I also had a sore throat; the kind that feels like it's been sliced by a knife. Not nice and very uncomfortable. As the day wore on, I had moments when I felt chilled, and then I'd be fine. A cough developed, different from my "usual" one and I began feeling tired enough to lay down. I managed to continue to do odd jobs around the house and outside in the garden. Sunday was a repeat of Saturday, except I went to bed early because I felt so rough. By Monday, I had to call and cancel the appointment with the gasto-entologist because I was too sick to get out of bed. My body felt worse than ever, pain wise, and this is coming through although I'm on mega-pain meds. A low grade fever developed (101.5 F.) which hung on all day until late afternoon. Although Tuesday I managed to get out of bed a few times for short periods, I still spent the majority of the day on my back! Sinus congestion has been a part of this scenario and the cough has left me with additional pain in my chest. Sounds like a cold, yes? Such a simple thing could be life-threatening to me if it were to develop into pneumonia, so I need to be extra cautious. Staying away from crowds and hospitals is one way to avoid picking up "bugs", but this new exercise program is with a group of sickly, older individuals and is located in a long-term care hospital facility. Hmmm...what to do? what to do? Today is much better, and aside from the cough and congestion I don't feel too bad. Not sure if I'll make it to class on Friday or not, depends on how I feel. This could be a problem for me but I hope not. I sure would like to benefit from the expertise of the professionals there and it would be great to pick up some pointers on making life easier.

Posted by Sue Checkley at 1:16 PM | Comments (0)