Lisa - Your dhamma instructor is right on the money. Unfortunately, it is not the kind of thing that those eight letters in the word "patience" are really even within your grasp yet. This isn't meant to be condenscending. It's just the ways of the Universe so that we can get thru our 30's and get our kids to a point where they can be on their own. All things come in time. Don't try to search for it. It will find you when the time is right and a kind of grace will overwhelm you. But it is not the kind of thing one "gets" thru reading the right things, or "doing" the right things. It comes very softly one day when you are not even looking. When the time is right for you. Until then, try to form a love/hate relationship with steroids. Use sparingly when absolutely necessary; and wean properly and stay off inbetween times. They are a double edged sword. Can give one a "false" sense of well being, can even be a false "High", which can be fatal for many. For they overdue, don't give the lupus the respect it needs, and can go out in a blast. But steroids can also be life saving when in acute flare ups when organ failure is a risk. Like anything, it is a hard, tight rope to walk. And we must never say never, but go with the flow, and always not regret any decisions made in the past, nor measure any future decisions made by previous assumptions. As each day is a new day. With a new Lisa getting out of bed, with a totally different view of life and this crazy world. Having the safety net of steroids for this long weekend is not the same as taking huge doses every day for decades. There is a HUGE difference. Love yourself enough to give you and your Mother-in-law the support you both need this weekend by being together with whatever meds you need for the next five days. And then when you get back, you and your docs will still be there to make decisions for the next five hours, five days, five weeks, and five years. One day at a time, one hour at a time, whatever you have to do to accept that this roller coaster of Lupieland is forever changing, we forever changing with it, and having to deal with what hand we are dealt on a daily basis. Who knows? You may be flaring up right prior to a three year, total remission of the disease. So don't assume the negative. It's happened to me that way if it's any help. But keep a thermometer near by at all times. Denial is a hard habit to kick, and we Type A's with lupus are very stubborn people. I know. Believe me. I've been out waving a flag, thinking this recent flare up for me was over and history for me. I wish. When I just took my temp, I realized that I hadn't done so in four days ( subconsicously on purpose, duh........) I wanted to believe I wasn't running a fever. So I let myself "think" the other way to get four days off for optimism. But I wasn't able to walk to my mailbox.Slept a lot. And had to use sugar or chocolate to get myself "up" to do anything. Now there's a big clue. And then "remembering" to actually take my temperature. Why should the queen of denial be so surprised that she was still running a low grade fever???? Aw shucks...Did I really forget to take my temp for four days????? Blame it on cognitive fog!!!But it was nice to think postive and make plans during those four days. And I shall do those things when I'm better. So I didn't do any harm. My dreams are just a little postponed. So best wishes from Cleopatra herself!!!!!!! Hugs and have a great weekend.