Hi, I found your Living la vida lupus while researching my lupus! Your entries could be me, so many things you say and experience are me. I used to be very active and did a lot of sports. No more. Diagnosed about 3 years ago. I, too, am miserable. My biggest thing is, my husband looks at me like "man, you always got something goin' on" so I am pretty alone in this cuz I don't tell him most of the things happening. Anyway, I enjoy your posts cuz I don't feel alone, but I am sorry that you have to have this crummy disease. One thing about lupus though, every day is a new day and a new infection or pain! Keeps ya guessing. Hang in there!!! Susie

Hey there. My grandmother was diagnosed with Lupus a couple of years ago. She is up and down. Some days she can go to the store or visit a friend and other times she is in bed. I feel sorry for her but not only that, I have compassion and patience for her as you and others that suffer from Lupus and other illnesses. I have had 8 surgeries in the past 15 years and I've felt so alone and misunderstood. Until someone has trouble, I mean consistant health problems then they really don't understand what you are going through, nor can they give you comfort. This is why I tell my grandmother not to worry what others think and do what she has to do. Lots of people throughout these last 15 years have give me grief for not wanting to do things, go to bed sometimes when I get home from work, or don't have all my housework done. I agree with you about the anger. It is depressing to hurt and then no one seems to care or have some comforting words. I, like you, understand that others have worse problems than I do but I still have had more problems than most women I know that are 37 years old. I have two precious children and a wonderful husband but they don't always understand. Mommy, why are you in bed, are you going back to the hospital, can't we go play outside and so on and so on. I feel so bad because I can't be the mom, wife or worker that I want to be. My boss has got on me several times because I've missed work due to sickness, surgeries, tests and doctors appointments, and then I have to take my kids to appointments also. I was upset with God for a few years...not undertstanding why he would allow all these things to keep happening to me. I finally came to grips and asked God's forgiveness. I now see that God isn't punishing me but that Satan is attaching me and I will not let him turn me against the Lord. I've become a better Christian. Even though I've given my life to the Lord, I still have lots of problems...I just face them differently now. People think that I shouldn't be depressed if I have faith in the Lord but they can't possibly understand. Everyone in the world gets afraid, angry, scared, and so on it is natural. And if you have continual health problems then you can become depressed. I've taken so many meds that I could start my own pharmacy. I still take some now but I stop taking some because I've been drinking goji juice and it has helped me with depression, fatigue, stomach problems (ulcer, gastritis & acid reflux). My immune system has been so messed up. I catch everything my kids bring home and then some. My body had a problem absorbing vitamin B and my blood and iron was low. I would bruise all the time and not even know it. I've been drinking the goji juice for a few weeks now and I have more energy, less depression, and I've been off my zegerid for stomach problems for a couple weeks. I've tried so many things for energy and nothing has worked until now. Check it out: www.laurahinkle.freelife.com, www.sharegoji.com, www.gojihealthstories.com . Since it is helping me, I'm hoping my grandmother will at least try it. It has a 90 day money back guarantee. She needs something to help her too and that isn't bad for her. All natural. She has arthritis and can't do much with her hands at times and this juice is suppose to help with that also. I wish you the best and may God send you support and better health!