Health Diaries > Bipolar Disorder > Handcuffed to the Roller Coaster

September 22, 2004

Why Do People Think We're OK?

I think the hardest thing about bipolar is that when we're outwardly "normal" i.e. when our meds are working and we're not veering wildly up and down; people seem to think everything's perfect and we're functioning like "normal people". This is a fallacy.

I still have mood swings, just minor ones, hiccups really, but still I notice them, about every two weeks. On my downswing, which I'm on now, I'm less productive, not as creative, and prone to lying about watching TV most of the day. My mom, whom I live with, does not understand this, or maybe I can't explain it to her properly.

Oh, I can force myself to do some things; but it's a one-or-another proposition. I can make myself go to my kung fu classes, because they're new and they make me feel better, but it's hard to write, because my brain isn't as creative right now. But my mom seems to think I should be doing both. Maybe I should, but I can't.

I feel okay, my mood is not bad, it's just not at peak right now. I guess that's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't been there.

Posted by Susan on September 22, 2004 4:27 PM