I just wanted to say I UNDERSTAND. I understand SO well. I have had an eating disorder for over half my life, and I feel the same way about my body and when I look in the mirror. I completely, absolutely hate myself and my body and no matter how thin I've ever gotten, I just KNOW i am hideous and fat and disgusting. I often feel like I'm going to crawl right out of my skin. I cant stand being in this body. When my husband tells me I'm beautiful, or people tell me I'm thin, or whatever sort of compliment, I can't imagine what they are talking about because of my total hatred. I just want to let you know you're not alone at all. Thanks for starting your diary.Pilgrim

Thanks for sharing sweetie.I'm afraid that your obsession is all too common in young women in this day and age of marketing, marketing, marketing. Everywhere you look there are emaciated but beautiful looking airbrushed pics of gorgeous gals.I think you looked lovely as a blonde, the pic of you is pretty. And, I think the pic of you now is DAZZLING!!! Absolutely, Dazzling!! And there's nothing more beautiful than a young woman finding her best qualities, and her desires and dreams and going for it. So you aren't special just because you're dazzling now, you are special because there's only one you in the universe and you are incredible and special.Hugs, Big ones, & Blessings Judy

Well Danielle, I seriously feel for you, being one of millions with skewed self image! Anyways I hope you can get closer to reconciliation with your own true beauty of which you definitely have my dear. I'm sorry that comparisons have led you to miss what everyone else sees. Take care and start a love affair with your self, it's good advice even for me, just hard to follow.

To Danielle - As I read your story, I could feel your pain, yet as I looked at your photos, an unescapable fact glared out at me: you are a beautiful woman! The photo on the right showed a woman who looked "fakey" and artificial. Your beauty displays an inner glow of naturalness and softness. No matter that you were blonde or brunette; you look soft, feminine, and very sexy either way. May you learn to see both your positive and negative sides as both contributing to who you are. Neither the good nor the bad is better or worse than the other. You are a total, complete human so long as you don't obsess over the differences between you and others. We all - every human being - was created by God as an individual; different and complete "as is." Look at those who have been very different yet successful: Christopher "Superman" Reeve, confined to a wheelchair after a riding accident; President Franklin D. Roosevelt, also wheelchair bound from Polio (now a conquered disease); Joni Eareckson Tada, a Christian painter, singer, evangelist, wheelchair bound after a swimming accident; Sammy Davis, Jr, Jackie Robinson, and Marian Anderson - three black performers who made it to the top of their professions at a time when "persons of color" were not noted for their achievements (and Sammy Davis had only one eye; did you know that?). Be proud of who you are; look to your creator, however you may define that, for strength; and forge ahead on the knowledge that you have a purpose in life to fulfill that no one else on earth can fulfill. God bless you as you seek your destiny!!
-------------

DATE: 11/15/2004 11:08:49 PM
Thanks for sharing sweetie.I'm afraid that your obsession is all too common in young women in this day and age of marketing, marketing, marketing. Everywhere you look there are emaciated but beautiful looking airbrushed pics of gorgeous gals.I think you looked lovely as a blonde, the pic of you is pretty. And, I think the pic of you now is DAZZLING!!! Absolutely, Dazzling!! And there's nothing more beautiful than a young woman finding her best qualities, and her desires and dreams and going for it. So you aren't special just because you're dazzling now, you are special because there's only one you in the universe and you are incredible and special.Hugs, Big ones, & Blessings Judy

Girl, I totally know what you are going through. I was with a guy who was obsessed with pornography, his closets were filled with over 5,000 porn magazines and movies and he told me he wanted me to look and act more like a pornstar. I became enraged and started eating out of depression ( I am opposite, I eat instead of starve). I gained like 80 pounds because of this depression and tried to kill him a few times. The police came, I called them because I was scared that I was going to kill him or myself. I dumped him and felt SOOO good. I was overweight and started dating a guy who told me I was "funny".. but never told me I was beautiful. Finally, he told me he was unattracted to me, yet he loved my personality. I started taking diet pills and lost all of my 80 pounds that I gained. He told me he thought I was still fat, I fell into an eating disorder, I basically stopped eating except for SlimFast shakes which were my only meal sometimes. People thought I was sick or dying and were worried about me. I hated myself so bad because he thought I was fat and I KNEW that I was really skinny. He dumped me and I went into another depression and started eating a lot again. Gained the 80 pounds back again. Back and forth I go, slim and fat over and over. You know, I am dating a 30 year old man, I am 28, and he claims to love my body, but sometimes I have the feeling that he would prefer for me to be a little thinner. Men look at women because they are men.. it's when they stop looking at women that you have to worry. It's natural and it's what ALL men do, whether you catch them or not. Sure, he's looking online at girls, that's what guys do, doesn't mean he's gonna date them or wants them for a wife, it's just eye candy, and as you get older, you start to understand it more, it's hard to understand when you are young. You will get through all of this, when you are 28, like me, you will totally know what I'm talking about.

Grow up you silly bitch. You can't blame the perfect Trish because you're an ugly whore.

You are prettier than trish, much prettier!!

I feel for your pain, really I do. But your quote above the pictures really irks me. You say : "Look at what she [Trish Stratus] has done to a 14 year old freshman in high school."

Trish Stratus did nothing to you. She probably, until now, knew nothing of you and, if anything, finds your whole story to be both sad and very very creepy. As do I.

Trish Stratus is a beautiful woman who is also talented in her chosen field. To be envious is one thing, but to be hateful and jealous is just wrong. Trying to be someone you are not is not the solution to life's problems.

The blame you throw at her should rest squarely on your shoulders, along w. those of your parents. You need help. Good luck in getting over your "disease".

I am sorry, but binnal and azz can go to hell. I have my full real name up there. And if you want to find my home town. Look at my yahoo profile. Bring it on if you are such huge people in your field. Trish is an ugly fake bitch. She has had so much plastic surgery. I am sorry. I like molly holly, victoria, and more. If any of you want to know victoria's story, email me. I will give you her official site. Not the wwe one. She has a great story of how she has really brought herself up in the world. Yet this blonde slut has no skills and is taking it away from real wrestlers. She is also about to finally be off tv. She has problems with her spine. I am glad. It's getting old seeing this eye candy. Piss on her.

You really are a pathetic whore! Trish is the best and most beautiful woman in the world. You really need to see a shrink before you hurt someone you stupid little bitch. Trish is the most beautiful woman in the world and I hope she'll kick your fat and flabby ass one day. You stupid little girl and GROW THE HELL UP!

I just wanna say