Health Diaries > Dissociative Identity Disorder > Butterfly Team
June 06, 2006
bad day.....
today has not been a good day. it has to do with the date. can't really write about it other than saying i've been in a constant state of panic. i haven't slept more than 3 hours in the past 48 hours.
i tried to stay as busy as possible. i went to my niece's dress rehearsal for her dance recital. there were TONS of girls ranging in age from 3 years old to seniors in high school all in this big auditorium. they were all in their costumes mainly consisting of dance leotards. seeing all of these little and young girls' bodies was way too triggering for me, especially on a day like today. now, all i keep seeing is images of my body being raped at all of those ages that those girls were.
i can't do this anymore. the panic is increasing the later it gets and the darker it gets. it's night time again. i can't have the same night as i did last night crouched into a small corner of my closet ALL NIGHT LONG. i can't. i don't know what to do anymore.
Posted by Butterflyteam on June 6, 2006 05:59 PM
I know what you mean about the date. I just got off the phone with my T because of triggers. I wasn't prepared for the aftershocks; didn't really think about the date until tonight. It's awful, isn't it? If you get this tonight, email me if you want. I'll be up until really late and I can be here for you if you want support. I'm just glad I didn't have a car available tonight; I couldn't get to where certain alters wanted to go. The Real Me
Posted by: The Real Me at June 6, 2006 07:19 PM
And, by really late, I mean 4 to 5 am eastern time.
Posted by: The Real Me at June 6, 2006 07:20 PM
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