Health Diaries > Dissociative Identity Disorder > Butterfly Team

October 22, 2006

in my "i don't care" place........

i haven't gotten much work done today and i really needed to. i've felt exhausted all day but i really think it's just depression. i slept 10 hours last night and fell asleep for a little while this afternoon. all day i've just laid on the couch and stared at the tv. i have no idea what i even watched. i have this sense of "i just don't care". i have to get some work done but at the same time............ i just don't care. this is kind of another example of my "all or nothing' or "black and white" thinking and approach to things. i'm either in a panic about everything i need to do and have to get it all done prefectly or......... i just don't care and don't do anything. i spend more time in the panic rather than the not caring place but neither one is a healthy place to be. why can't i ever be in the middle? why can't i ever approach things in a healthy way? i don't like the panic feelings but these depressed, i don't care feelings aren't any better.

Posted by Butterflyteam on October 22, 2006 02:53 PM

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You have so much going on! I know you would miss your class, but is it feasible (maybe?) to just focus on school for now? There are all kinds of loans and grants available. If not, I hope your "insiders" can take on some of the work.

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