Main » November 2007
November 5, 2007
Life seems to always be complicated. There is hardly ever an easy path. Sure for a while there might be but the easy path always seems to lead to an even harder road later on.
Living with Did is very complicated. Theres always a sence for me of no one really understanding me, or wanting to understand. Its like the world thinks that if you take a pill and just see a shrink everything will be better and it doesnt really work that way. Or they think that because you are mentally disabled it also qualifies you as being dumb and unable to make any sort of decions for your self. Especially if those decions go against what they believe in. Its a vicious cycle between trying to prove yourself and being knocked back down.
November 1, 2007
I believe that we all hold secrets deep inside ourselfs that we hope no one will ever find out. But it is in having someone break through all our walls and deliever us from the secrets that bind us that we find true freedom. We are so afraid of what people may think of us or what their reaction maybe that we put on a face that is not our own and pretend to be someone that we are not. We spend more time worrying about what others will think of us than we spend worrying about if what we are doing is right for us. Often times we do things we know is wrong just to try and fit in. I wonder sometimes what life would be like if we spent less time trying to fit in and more time being true to ourselfs.
I had a friend who i talked to the other day that made a comment to me that said she was surprised at how mature i was for my age. I remember thinking when she said that * if you only knew, really knew*
I thought it only fitting that i share just a couple of my secrets with this post.
I refuse to go into a bathroom or any room with a mirror in the dark cause i believe that people will jump out of them. I also believe that toys can come to life at night or when no one is there to watch them and that there are monsters that live in the closet and under the bed and furnature.
I do stuff to get into trouble sometimes not because i want to be scolded or a brat but because i want someone to care enough to say no and still care about me even if i've done something wrong.
my grandpa, my grandma, and my dog all died and while i was no where near any of them when it happened, i still blame myself for their deaths and for not being there more for them.
There is a friend of mine who i care about dearly even though i dont talk to her all that often who posted a link to post secret on her journal. I cant thank her enough for posting that link. I've watched it over and over and over again. it was the inspiration for the entry i wrote today.
I dont wanna mention names in this entry, but, thanks :) You have been such a major help and support to me over the past several years.